


A Series Of Small Things

by iknaq



Series: The Suits [7]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Music, Anxiety, BBW, Banter, Blood and Injury, Breathplay, Depression, F/M, Flirting, Heavy Angst, Inspired by Music, Light Bondage, Nightmares, POV Alternating, Polyamorous Character, Rough Sex, Suicidal Thoughts, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, plus size
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-07 14:46:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11625780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknaq/pseuds/iknaq
Summary: Audra and Deacon are drawn together, craving and fighting the connection. Charmer works with the Railroad and her favourite partner.The courser chip is decoded and Audra recruits Virgil to help build the teleporter.





	1. Reciprocal Torture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Audra runs away from the guys, not able to deal with the mental stress of all the important dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mods Referenced:  
> Shezrie's Loft  
> Chinese Stealth Suit

It felt like she was constantly one step ahead of them. He didn't know whether to be pissed or impressed at this point, maybe a bit of both.  
  
It had been exactly twenty-three days since she'd up and wandered off without a word.  
  
He'd woken up that morning, trying not to cry again and mentally preparing himself for the emotional conversation he was expecting to come, feeling slightly awkward when he realised Nick was still there. At least he was still wearing his sunglasses, their presence probably the only thing keeping his head from exploding. Deacon groaned softly, the hangover making the room spin slightly. That alone kept him where he was, unable to run away, feeling as crummy as he did.  
  
(Sorry - Nothing But Thieves)  
  
_And this is one of the reasons I do not drink._  
  
Nick came out of his diagnostics and just asked how he was doing, all matter of factly, before letting go of his hand and asking if he wanted some coffee in the same tone. He couldn't remember clearly but at some point during the night, Nick must have picked up after him, the safe closed back up and the floor free from glass.  
He was okay with ignoring last night and agreed that some coffee would be great. Nick went and got that going and Deacon sat at the end of Audra's bed, head hanging between his knees as he tried to get up the will to face her. Jumping up and nearly vomiting when he heard Nick shout something, stumbling out to see Nick and Sturges there with equally worried looks on their faces. He looked between them and Sturges rolled his shoulders with a frown, sounding much more in control then he knew he would be.  
  
'Audra's gone...bag gone, clothes gone, Dogmeat gone. Her weapon's aren't here at the house, so she must have come by at some point, but the guard at the gate said that no one came from Red Rocket and Sanctuary since we left last night and I came over this morning.'  
  
'She had to have come when I was doing diagnostics. Though I don't know how she managed to put stuff back in the safe without me noticing her.'  
  
Deacon blinked at them, trying to wrap his head around it, but felt like his brain was floating in beer and vodka instead of cerebrospinal fluid. Shuffling to the kitchen table and taking the coffee Nick held out while lighting a cigarette, waiting for his healing to kick in a bit and at least minimise the hangover.  
  
'Okay, so she snuck off. Has anyone spoken with Preston? Speak of the devil...'  
  
'Uh...did I miss something?'  
  
'Did the General tell you she was leaving for somewhere?'  
  
'No, wait, Audra's gone? When did she leave? Last time I talked with her she wasn't doing very well...like she was asking me if something ever happened to her to keep looking for Shaun...I don't think she should be alone right now.'  
  
'She asked me that too...'  
  
Sturges looked over at Nick, Nick frowned and nodded and Deacon's lips went thin, holding his hand out and asking for Preston' s radio. He switched over to her channel and they all looked down at the radio.  
  
'Audra...'  
  
Frowning as all they got was static, about to say something again when he heard the faint beeping.  
  
.. _ _ .._..._..  
  
'Fucking really? Where the hell are you?'  
  
All he got was silence and he stopped himself before he chucked the radio at the wall, the pounding of his head setting him on edge. Looking around at the other men, Nick shaking his head a bit, Preston looking between them.  
  
'Morse code?'  
  
'She says she's fine. I'm going to have some more coffee, eat something and then go after her.'  
  
Nick stated he was going with him, leaving no room for argument and honestly, he didn't feel like being alone anyways. He usually preferred being alone, but since she'd come and thrown his world into chaos, he appreciated the company more and more. He scarfed some breakfast down and was surprised when Preston and Sturges walked with them to Red Rocket. Sturges handed both of them their own radio from the box he'd most recently fixed, surprising them when he pulled each of them into a hug. Preston shaking hands and asking them to let them know when they'd found her.  
  
They switched between the Minutemen channel and her channel, asking her to respond, chasing after her as news of the settlements she helped came but still she managed to avoid them. They avoided broadcasting anything besides asking her to get in contact with them after his initial outburst, not wanting to worry any of the settlements.  
By the end of the first week, Deacon was running on fumes and Nick forced him to stop at Diamond City and rest for the night. He was embarrassed but grateful when Nick sat next to him as he slept for a bit. Checking with Ellie, Piper, and the other Ellie to see if Audra had appeared at any point. When they said they hadn't seen her they moved on with promises to find her and let them know.  
By the end of the second week, Nick had to run back to Diamond City and Deacon checked in with Dez. Carefully avoiding the subject of Charmer before running off again. He'd even stopped by Goodneighbor and Starlight, trying to see if she was hiding out with Hancock or Mac. Frowning when Mac told him Dogmeat had just shown up a few weeks back. After letting the man know about how she'd disappeared, Mac started packing up immediately but Deacon convinced him to stay...he really wasn't sure how she would react to any of them right now and both of them together might be too much for her. When he went to Goodneighbor John was quiet on the subject, too quiet...which meant she'd been by and he was covering for her.  
  
_She knew I would try to use Dogmeat to find her. She knew I would check in with everyone._  
  
Dogmeat was good, but he wasn't even sure if he could get her trail after that long. After he'd heard a rumor about Audra running with Edward Deegan, he was off like a shot for the Cabot House. The rumors had placed her all around the East, sometimes running with Deegan, sometimes alone. After he'd spoken with the ghoul, he found out that she'd wandered off three days back, then he started in the general direction Edward thought she was going.  
  
It had been three weeks and a couple days. Three weeks with only the occasional Morse code transmission to let them know she was alive, if it was even her...worrying that perhaps Cole had gotten her but knowing the man, he'd make a big production of it, not stay silent. By mid-afternoon he was already tired and decided to stop, giving the Minutemen a little hand by clearing one of the houses they'd marked to be cleaned out later, knowing Dez was also interested in Taffington Boathouse, as well. He'd been hoping to possibly find Audra here, Deegan had mentioned she was thinking about clearing it.  
Sighing when he found the settler's body and burying her off in the field across the road. Looking around cautiously when he heard a scream coming from somewhere not too far. After getting a fair amount of the bug guts cleaned up, he rolled out his bedroll in the living room area, staying close to the cook station for warmth. After a quick check in with Nick and some food and prepping the area, he settled down for the night. When it became clear that sleep wasn't coming he reached into his bag, carefully pulling out the well-loved tome and lighting a lantern, this had always been one of his favorites. Thinking about it briefly before taking a couple long pulls off the bottle of vodka in his pack. Dropping the book and nearly fucking attacking her when she suddenly appeared in front of him, just far enough out of his reach as she pulled some kind of helmet off, smirking at him before he could really register what was going on. He hadn't even heard her.  
  
'I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, To die upon the hand I love so well.'  
  
He frowned at the floor, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, putting his switchblade back in his pocket before he looked up at her again. She'd settled down on the floor across from him after pulling her muffler off but she was still wearing her jacket, sitting with her back against the wall, staring at him from the dark corner. He could barely see her in the flicker of the lantern but the dark circles were back and she looked tired, eyes going wide at the sword that was sitting on the ground by her side.  
  
Smirking at him again, the amusement not quite reaching her eyes when she asked out of the blue, 'So Deacon, what do you know about aliens?'  
  
-  
  
She knew she had been a coward, but she couldn't bear to face Aidan...Deacon...not when she'd just gotten him back in her life, but she couldn't not tell him. He deserved to know, so she made sure that he had looked in the safe before she left. She ended up walking Dogmeat to Starlight and sending him to Mac, being careful not to let him see her. She missed having the pup along with her, but she needed him away from the guys so they couldn't use him to find her and she couldn't take him with her because he was too recognizable, she had a hard enough time disguising herself if she needed to.  
  
After that Audra started heading South without a particular destination in mind, debating whether or not she could handle going to see Arthur right now, like she'd promised to weeks ago. She'd gone down to Diamond City before cutting East, heading in the general direction of the Prydwen when she ran into the young boy along the water. After speaking with Donny and getting his story, she had him head for Oberland, telling him to speak with the sisters and let them know she sent him.  
  
_Poor kid needs someone to be around and watch out for him._  
  
When she went out into the water, the last thing she expected was to run into a Chinese submarine Captain. At first she felt rage building at the Captain's confession of his involvement and some of the things he said...but she felt bad for the ghoul and eventually agreed to help him. She knew the place he'd mentioned had already been cleared by one of the scouting teams, hoping that the item he was looking for was still in the building or in the nearby settlement. She was able to find what Zao was looking for and when she brought it back and finished helping him, he presented her with some gifts before he was ready to set sail again.  
  
'No way...'  
  
Audra made the old ghoul jump in surprise as she gave him a hug, thanking him for the gifts. She stuck them in a duffle bag and made for the shack Donny had been staying in, where she'd stashed her stuff so it wouldn't get wet, looking out the window and seeing the stir of the water as Zao left. After she'd changed, she decided against going to see Arthur for now, instead deciding to go talk with John. He might understand and wouldn't judge her...maybe.  
  
She got to the gates of Goodneighbor and went in the way she'd found as the Shroud. Loosening the board covering the window and crawling in the dilapidated section of the Old State House, covering the window back up and instead of going out in the alley where she'd scared Deacon before, she carefully went up some old broken servant's stairs. She crouched down, trying out her new stealth suit and slowly pushed open the panel, coming out in her room. If a person was not aware of the old servant doors and back ways most older buildings had, they would never have thought to try the panels. Audra set her bag down by the bed quietly and snuck past Mickey to see John at his desk and Fahr on the couch, talking about some of the work they were doing. She left them be and made her way back to her room, stripping the stealth suit off and stuffing it and all her weapons in her bag before lying down on the bed.  
  
She must have fallen asleep, waiting for John to go out to smoke, because the next thing she knew she was waking up cuddled against his chest. He was stroking her hair softly and looking down at her, concerned.  
  
'Whatcha doing here, sunshine? I heard Nicky and Deacon on the radio trying to get a hold of you...what's going on?'  
  
(Love - Lana Del Rey)  
  
Audra sighed and just smooshed her face into his coat, he smelled like tobacco and the chemical tang from the Jet he liked, peeking up at him before pulling back with a sigh.  
  
'I just...I need to vent and tell someone the whole story and get someone else's view to tell me if I am just getting myself all worked up or if it's legitimate and I'm a horrible person...but I am scared. I came here because I thought that you wouldn't judge me for what happened but if I'm gonna tell you everything, I need to eat first and we need to get some whisky...maybe several bottles and all the cigarettes.'  
  
'I can do that. Let me get some stuff and see if I can help you settle your mind.'  
  
John gave her a peck and tucked her back in, wandering out of the room and closing the doors after himself. Mickey and Fahr must have seen her too, their muffled voices coming through the walls. She dozed a bit more, waking to the sound of the doors opening a little while later. John had a plate of something and a bag full of the requested items, pulling the coffee table over to the couch and setting everything there, beckoning her over.  
She ate some of the brahmin and corn before pouring herself a glass of the whisky. Audra pulled an oversized hoodie out of her bag, pulling it on and leaving the hood up, hiding her face for the most part before they went out to the balcony, sipping their drinks and smoking before wandering back in. John made a comment and she mentioned not wanting to be seen, so he cracked the door and one of the windows so they could smoke inside without it getting too stuffy. They settled back onto the couch and she curled against his side before she started telling John everything.  
  
She started from when her parents divorced and went through the years, talking about first meeting the guys, school, college, the initial problems with their love triangle, her engagement to Aidan and his death.  
  
'I left because I told him something I think he's going to hate me for and because it's almost the anniversary of his death. I have no fucking clue how to handle having him around while grieving the loss of the love of my life. It's weird and confusing and I know I'm going to be sad even if he's right there because he's not the same....we're not the same and that life was taken from us.'  
  
She told him about June, about running into Nate and trying dating again, marrying, having Shaun. She told him everything from since she'd woken up, how she knew Nick, how she felt about Mac, how she had to send him away on that anniversary. Audra told him about what had happened with Deacon since then, about her affection for Arthur, her growing love for Sturges, her complete and utter feeling of inadequacy in dealing with all of them and her worry and confusion about things going forward.  
By the time she'd finished telling him, dawn had passed and they'd managed to kill two bottles of whisky and a carton and a half of cigarettes and John had his fair share of Mentats and Jet. He looked at her, a deep soul searching look and just scooped her up, putting her on the bed. Stripping down and climbing into bed with her, she snuggled against him, fingers playing over the scarred skin of his chest lightly.  
  
'I don't think he'll hate you. I don't think it's your fault. You're a good person who has had a shit run of everything, but somehow you keep going and try make the best of it. You're better then all of us, sunshine...and if for some reason those idiots have a problem with any of it, you know you'll always have a place here.'  
  
John kissed her forehead and they drifted off, eventually waking mid-afternoon. John convinced her to come down to the Third Rail that evening, stating that they would be okay in the VIP room, but she wore the suit just in case. Jumping when she noticed the ghoul sitting in the corner of the room that she hadn't noticed before she pulled the helmet off, making him jump at her sudden appearance, as well. John made introductions and Deegan propositioned her before wandering off with a promise to keep his lips sealed about seeing her there.  
They had some food and a couple drinks, listening to Magnolia before Audra got jumpy, asking John softly to go back upstairs. He followed her back up until they were in her room, shutting the door as she pulled the stealth suit off.  
  
'You okay, sunshine?'  
  
'I just...I know Deacon and probably Nick are going to be coming for me and I just am not ready to face them. I think...I think I'll head out tomorrow, take Deegan up on his offer.'  
  
'Ya sure? Don't want you going out there and getting roughed up because your head's not in the right place.'  
  
'I'm sure John, I need the distraction.'  
  
He frowned but nodded a little, going to the couch and sitting down with a huff. He looked so irritated and she felt bad, curling at his side till he looked down at her, kissing him softly.  
  
'I'm sorry...Thank you, John. Really. I feel a bit better talking about everything and I know I can always talk to you.'  
  
He smirked at her, a little self-deprecatingly, tossing his hat on the table as he popped a couple Mentats.  
  
'You can always count on me for anything you need there sunshine, in and out of bed.'  
  
She rolled her eyes but felt bad about not being able to return the same level of love she saw in his eyes, moving to straddle his lap, cupping his face and forcing him to look at her. It was her turn to bolster him, singing his praises, blushing when he stirred against her belly. After another quick talk and his reassurance that he was okay, John scooped her up and tucked her into bed. Audra tried to convince him to try help distract her but he protested, stating that he wouldn't take advantage of her current mental state. He wandered off for a while but eventually joined her in bed, just holding her tight again.  
  
-  
  
She leant over the balcony edge, perhaps a bit too far, blowing Deegan a kiss. Grinning as the ghoul chuckled and turned around to head up and join her. Audra met him inside and they went up to the roof, lounging at the table there, passing the ghoul a beer.  
  
'I must say, I do like this place. Thank you, Edward darling.'  
  
'Thank Jack for that.'  
  
'Nuh-uh, not that it wasn't nice of him, but you're the one who approached me first. Speaking of which, have you made up your mind or do I need to get you drunk and deposit you in his bed myself?'  
  
The ghoul chuckled and shook his head, downing the rest of his beer before speaking again, 'I was going to talk with him and go from there. What about you? You ready to go back to your stud farm?'  
  
Audra snorted her beer through her nose, laughing and whining about the burn before wiping her face up, she moved over to the side of his chair snuggling up to his side carefully. He hadn't been wearing his armour since he was still healing and she tilted her head to look up at him thoughtfully. They'd know each other a couple weeks now, but had bonded almost immediately once Deegan found out about her past, spending some time talking about their life before and since then. He reminded her of her father, they way he'd expressed his concern over the guys.  
When she'd found that he'd come to love his employer, she'd made it her mission to try and get them together, especially after what had happened at Parson's...knowing that Jack would have a limited life-span compared to Edward's now. He stayed for another couple beers before Audra practically pushed him out the door, threatening him with bodily injury if he did not speak with Jack. Sighing softly as she closed the door and wandered back up to look at her new pad.  
  
It was a nice apartment, nicer than the one she and Nate had shared before buying the house. It was in great shape and would be another good place when travelling around, but it felt empty without everyone. She'd gotten used to always having someone with her, briefly thinking about running back to John, but not wanting to abuse his affection.  
  
'Fuck it. I survived years by myself, I can do it.'  
  
(Party By Myself - Hollywood Undead)  
  
She threw some music on the jukebox and cranked it up, singing along and dancing as she pulled one of the bottles of bourbon off the shelf, letting out an exaggerated moan as she sipped it. Even the alcohol was in better shape.  
  
_I'll have to bring Arthur a bottle of the bourbon, Nick the whisky..._  
  
Audra grumbled at herself in frustration, there was rarely a moment when one or all of them wasn't on her mind. Downing the last little bit in her glass before pouring another. She stripped down to her sports bra and boyshorts, because why the hell not, learning all the little nooks and crannies of the loft. She eventually ended up back out on the roof, now with a bottle of vodka in hand, glaring at the buildings below. She'd gotten more and more upset as she looked around, unable to keep them off her mind. Then she thought about Aidan and what kind of life they would have had if things had been different.  
  
'FUCK THIS, fuck you, fuck you, fuck all ya'll. Just give me my life back.'  
  
The last of the words were choked out as she threw the bottle off into the distance, smirking a little and wiping her eyes when she heard the shout of a raider.  
  
'You want to fucking play? Okay.'  
  
To say that she wasn't exactly in her right mind at the moment would be a gross understatement as she yanked her boots and a t-shirt on, foregoing the rest of her clothing as she strapped Deliverer to her leg and grabbed a small bag with some stimpacks and her knives before running down and out the door in the general direction of the shouts.  
She knew she couldn't go too far, she was too close to the church and ran the risk of running into an agent, but she knew they generally tried to avoid the buildings where the raiders hung out. Audra ran down the alleyways swiftly, stumbling slightly from the amount of booze coursing through her system.  
  
Audra chased the raiders down, eventually coming to a red door at a dead end with a couple raider bodies already laying about. She crouched down and slowly opened the door, peeking in before entering. Blinking when she entered and saw the room to her left.  
  
'Art never improves, but... the material of art is never quite the same. Somehow I don't think this is what Eliot meant.'  
  
She made a face at the smell and rapidly made her way through the building, taking out the raiders upstairs before beginning to venture down. She went slowly, cautiously, in much deeper than she had intended when she went after the raiders to blow off some steam.  
Audra made her way through the sub-level, past a few more raiders, bristling when she heard the voices. She saw a man that was surrounded and took out Deliverer, sighting down at the raiders surrounding him. She hesitated when she heard the raider talking about his men being used as the paint for the gruesome show up top, stomach clenching when the man didn't deny it. Hell, he sounded proud of the fact. She took a couple deep breaths and pulled the trigger, quickly dropping two of the raiders as the man took on the third. As soon as the raider was down, she hopped down but kept the gun trained on the man. He argued his point, but even his voice made it feel like someone was dragging an ice cube down her spine. He gave her a key, trying to convince her to let him leave, but when she said no he was immediately there. She couldn't stop the whimper as he knocked her into one of the brick pillars.  
  
'Now, now, Killer...let's be reasonable. Those people deserved worse than death.'  
  
'Maybe you deserve the same.'  
  
'So sayeth one born killer to another. Regardless, I pay my debts.'  
  
He dropped her and turned away as she holstered her gun, apparently feeling that his point was made, but Audra wasn't having any of it. Slashing at his arm with one of the knives and driving him against the wall, switchblade to his throat. She gagged a bit as his too sweet breath washed over her and she could feel his growing erection, pushing hard enough on his windpipe to draw a line of blood. He started to gasp and fight back when he realised she wasn't going to let up, she stumbled back at one particularly hard shove and she swung with all her might, her combat knife catching Pickman across the throat, watching as he fell to the ground. His eyes were cloudy when she looked down at him and shot him in the head instead of letting him bleed out like she had with the courser. Looking at the gory mess before turning away to retch against the wall.  
  
_What have I become?_  
  
She searched him and then stopped at the safe, snagging his present...looking down at the blade with some distaste before stumbling back to the loft. Audra took a scalding shower, feeling like she could still smell the musty walls and his sickly rotten breath on her, sinking to the floor of the shower and crying. She didn't know how long she sat there, the water having long gone cold before drying herself off, not even bothering to dress before collapsing in bed. The room was spinning as she fell asleep, whimpering and crying out, dreaming of bloody paintings and yellow eyeballs staring down at her.  
  
-  
  
Audra hung over the edge of the bed, emptying the bile from her stomach, between the drinking and remembering last night her stomach felt like it was trying to fold in on itself. She groaned and stumbled to the bathroom, taking care of her bodily needs and brushing her teeth before wandering back out, pulling on some undies and a shirt and then cleaning up the mess she'd made. She made herself eat some mutfruit and drink the last container of biogel she had on her before showering again and dressing to face the day.  
  
(So Far Away - Avenged Sevenfold)  
  
She sat on the couch looking down at the picture of her and Aidan, the one she had shown Mac, brushing the tears away angrily. That life was gone, but he was still here...no matter how different it felt, no matter how much it hurt and how much her brain tried to remind her that this was the day he died. Suddenly the ache was more then she could stand, wanting to see him, even if he hated her.  
  
Audra packed up her bags and locked up, wearing her hoodie over the stealth suit, not putting the helmet on yet. She wandered over to the Cabot House, grinning when she entered and saw Edward coming downstairs from Jack's lab, much happier than he was the night before. She talked with him for a bit, letting him know Deacon was likely to come looking for her, telling Edward to send him towards Taffington Boathouse.  
She'd heard about the location while helping Greentop Nursery out and it sounded like it would make a good addition to the settlement line up. After bidding the men goodbye and noting her frequency down in case they needed her, she was off. She pulled the helmet on and avoided everything till she was just outside of Bunker Hill, stopping by the Market and getting some supplies, making sure Old Man Stockton heard her talking about running around with Deegan. But instead of immediately making for Taffington, she snuck into her office above the sleeping area they'd had built for the Minutemen, settling down for the night. She kept watch the next day, leaving her helmet on and the sitting so she could see out the window. She sat back far enough that she was essentially hidden unless someone was directly looking into the window, waiting, knowing he would stop by for intel.  
  
Audra smirked when he appeared the following morning, dressed in his caravaneer get up. Spending a moment in the Market, presumably speaking with Stockton before making his way out the side door, Audra hopping out the window and off the shack roof. She followed him back to the Cabot House, watching him speak with Deegan when he came out and trailing him as he started north. She couldn't help but snicker a little, watching him during one of his costume changes.  
  
_God, I love that idiot._  
  
It was a relatively uneventful walk until they passed the BADTFL offices, when she realized someone else was trailing Deacon. She just kept an eye on him for a bit, heart pounding when the man looked around at one point, feeling her eyes on him...but the suit did its job and he shrugged it off, trailing the spy once again.  
This was a man who obviously was experienced at following someone, hiding at the appropriate moments and moving silently. He had a pistol in hand, but made no attempt to go for Deacon just yet. Audra hung back a bit when they started coming up to a bridge, watching as he dodged some booby traps and did the same. Deacon was further ahead of them and she could hear some shots from his pistol. The man was carefully walking along the water's edge and Audra set her bag down and took a leap at him from the top of the embankment, kicking his legs out from under him, causing the man to fall over into the water. She quickly grabbed the thrashing man by his shirt, dragging him out of the water and into the mud, knocking the gun out of his hand into the river. She had to give it to him, beyond the initial grunt of surprise and pain, the man didn't make much noise, looking at her like he was trying to see beyond the helmet. She tried to make her voice as low and rough as she could, pinning the man down, putting Pickman's Blade to his throat.  
  
'Why are you following him?'  
  
She had to repeat the question twice more, digging her knee into his stomach, knife to his throat.  
  
'The heretic must be cleansed, he and his whore will die before they can continue spreading their lies.'  
  
'What lies? What the hell are you talking about? Who are you?'  
  
'He claims they knew his holiness First Elder Maxson, now she claims to be of that time, as well.'  
  
Audra huffed, pulling the helmet off with one hand, practically growling at the man. She felt a surge of dark satisfaction when she saw the fear in the man's eyes. She felt the same disgust that had bothered her the other night after dealing with Pickman. The fucking crazy tone he had when talking about Deacon was enough to make her blood boil. No one. NO. ONE. Fucked with her family.  
  
(Killing Strangers - Marilyn Manson)  
  
She grabbed him by his hair and yanked the bigger man up, gesturing with the knife for him to walk back towards the bridge. Slashing at his upper arm when the man tried to make a move at her. They were both surprised by the extra forceful burst of blood that came forth. Directing him to the other side of one of the old freeway supports, making him stand with his back to the concrete.  
  
'Hm. Interesting. This is a new blade to me. I took it from a man who liked to kill raiders and use their blood and bodies for his art...that was after I slit his throat. For all I know, he's poisoned it, might account for the extra bleeding you have going on. Sit. Now...I heard you mention the First Elder Maxson like he's some kind of god and I can assure you...he wasn't. Rog was a great man, but not divine and he would have been disgusted to know that he was being worshipped.'  
  
'Blasphemy!'  
  
'Uh uh uh...you never knew him. Whatever tales you heard have been twisted over 200 years. I said sit. The next time you move, you'll start getting mighty familiar with this blade. I wonder how many small cuts it would take for you to bleed out. Have you heard of synths? Yes, okay. Have you heard of coursers? I killed a courser, by slitting his throat, as well. I can tell you...it is not a pretty way to go. I imagine slowly bleeding out might be slightly better then choking on your own blood as it seeps down your throat.'  
  
The fear was back in the man's eyes as she spoke, giving him a grin, teeth bared. She stayed alert as she looked down at the man. He was positively...unremarkable. Frowning and trying to figure out what to do with him. She wasn't equipped to keep him prisoner but she didn't feel she could just kill him outright, wondering what other information she could get out of him.  
  
'Who are you?...How many of you are there?...Where are you staying?...Who is your leader?'  
  
Sighing softly when he refused to answer, hand darting out and grazing a cheek. He hissed a little but continued to sit there as she repeated the questions, each time giving him a new little cut. Whatever Pickman had done to this knife was bloody ( _har har_ ) effective and soon the man's face was dripping with blood, he started squirming nervously after the last cut and Audra drew one across his forehead slowly. As soon as the blood started seeping into his eyes, she saw the crack forming. Watching the panicked pressing, trying to stem the flow.  
  
'Cole. His name is Cole.'  
  
She was about to ask him again when he reached out, trying to grab the knife from her hand and she moved without thinking, burying the switchblade that had been folded in her other hand into the man's temple. She was able to control her stomach this time but she still felt the bile rising in her throat.  
  
_I did what I had to do, I have to protect Aodh and I got a name. This Cole will regret his decision to come after my family._  
  
She just kept repeating that to herself again and again, wondering if she'd ever actually believe it. Audra pulled her knife out and searched the man, using his t-shirt to wipe off her blades. He didn't have much of anything on him, leaving the body there while she went and gathered the things she'd flung. Frowning and realising there was blood on her coat and mud on the helmet.  
She suited back up and slung her bag on before grabbing the dead man's arms and dragging him off a bit further to the other side of the bridge. It was starting to get dark, so she sat on the railing of the bridge, pulling some food out and lifting the helmet a bit so she could munch. Eventually it was dark and she couldn't delay anymore. As much as she wanted to see him earlier, now, she was back to being scared.  
  
She caught a glimpse of him through the open door, circling around the porch and coming in the other door, carefully avoiding the mines he 'd put in place. She paused, lips pressing together tight to fight back the sigh, seeing what he was reading. She moved over so she would be in his line of sight, watching him take a few swigs, wishing she had done the same before she pulled her helmet off with a smirk in place.  
Audra was glad she'd stayed out of reach, watching him whip out his switchblade...but she knew he'd react like that like she would, like he taught her to.  
  
(Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye)  
  
'I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, To die upon the hand I love so well.'  
  
The doubts were back, eating at her forced calm. She had to remember....as much as he was different, she must be to him, as well. Pulling out the sword so she could shove the helmet in her bag, placing it by her side as she sat on the floor, yanking her muffler off and stuffing that into the bag too. Audra watched as he took some deep breaths and plastered the smirk back on, it was about the only look she could maintain right now, it was that or looking sad.  
Suddenly she remembered the phial in her bag and it's similarity to the biogel, except it was more like green goo. After what she'd seen, she didn't doubt that there was more out there then she really knew about, but she wondered what her darling fiance might know.  
  
'So Deacon, what do you know about aliens?'  
  
She couldn't help but laugh a little at the confused look on his face, poking around in her bag till she pulled the phial out, holding it up for him to see.  
  
'Had an interesting last couple weeks. Let's just say, aliens are real and this...this green goo, seems to deal with radiation, instead of healing like the blue goo...but it also has the interesting effect of added damage resistance, strength and prolonging life.'  
  
His eyebrows raised high enough that she could see them above his glasses and she made a gesture to his face, smiling brightly when he immediately removed his glasses, but didn't look him in the eyes just yet. She was good at hiding things, but not that good. Digging around in her bag again before pulling out one of the bottles of vodka from the loft, she held both things out slightly, so he was forced to come over to grab them.  
  
'Green goo and vodka, are we making a cocktail?'  
  
'Smartass. The green goo is just so you can see it, I'm going to take it to Curie to analyse against the sample of biogel she ran. The vodka is for you and is much better than what you were just drinking. I also have some whisky for Nick, some bottles for the other guys. Speaking of which.'  
  
She lifted her arm and pressed the button down with a little sigh.  
  
'I know ya'll are listening. I'm okay, really. I am with Deacon currently. I'll check in in the morning. Love ya.'  
  
She gave an exaggerated kissy noise before looking back at the spy. He hadn't said much and she worried that it was coming, the pain and disappointment...the condemnation. She was surprised when he just cracked the vodka, taking a swig with a surprised glance at the bottle. She crawled across the floor, grinning when she saw him go still, reaching out and taking the bottle from his grip and taking a swig as she sat down next to him. Grumbling a bit when her coat got in the way, going up on her knees and tossing it aside.  
  
'What are you wearing? That's not your usual suit.'  
  
'Like it? It was a present.'  
  
Audra crawled back to her bag, his eyes going wide as she pulled the helmet on and disappeared before his eyes. Pulling the helmet off and brushing her hair back as it came out of it's bun and fell down her back. She needed a haircut, it was getting long...dangerous. That or she'd have to start braiding it and tucking the tails away.  
  
'Hēi guǐ.'  
  
'That's right. You're familiar with it?'  
  
'I've seen it once before...how did you get it?'  
  
'I met a Captain who very much wanted to go home and expressed regret for his involvement in things. He gifted it to me before leaving.' At his confused look she clarified, 'I found a ghoul...a Chinese Captain who was here, that day...who may have been responsible for the one here...'  
  
'WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU LET HIM GO? Look. Look at what happened. He needs to pay for what he's done.'  
  
'Deacon. Deacon....AODH. Hush. I thought that at first too, but the man has been living in a fucking cigar tube for 200 years with his feral crew and all he wanted to do was go home. Besides...I had an interesting conversation with him that led to his gifts....how long have you been using Stealth Boys?'  
  
Deacon just glared at her, taking another swig of the vodka and standing, wandering to the back porch and lighting a cigarette with a huff. Audra sighed and trailed after him, making him tense when she slid her hand into his front pocket to grab his cigs. Resting her forearms on the railing as she stood next to his side. He was angry with her now, smoking with harsh jerky movements. First one, then another before stomping back inside.  
Audra trailed behind him, sitting at his side, picking up his book and leafing through it. She was about to make a snarky comment about him dog-earing the pages, stopping when the book flopped open and revealed the photos, the three photos. She couldn't stop the soft choking noise she made and he just took the book, jamming it back in his pack and slinging an arm around her shoulders, his breathing hitching slightly too.  
She didn't know how long they just sat there, breathing slowly becoming synced, melting more into his side till her head was resting against his chest. She leaned forward and loosened the neck piece and started undoing the straps that held the suit together, sighing softly when she got it partially open, having to stand to peel it the rest of the way off. She set it down by her bag and grabbed her sweats before sitting down next to him again.  
  
'Stealth Boy's apparently do not have the level of regulation that the suits do. The government was in such a rush to duplicate the technology that they didn't stop to think about long term effects or rather they just didn't care from what I read. No one would live long enough for something like that to have the time to cause any kind of damage, right? It would take decades...hell, maybe centuries before that would happen. Near as I can understand from breaking down the mechanics of a stealth boy, it generally doesn't do much but the trace radiation from the fusion process and the long-term effect of the magnetic containment field used in the fusion cell might cause the bodies cells to slowly warp and degrade.'  
  
'All in the name of good science.'  
  
'Something like that. So if one's neurons were to become warped like that, it could cause a bunch of things...anxiety, paranoia...dementia. How much have you forgotten? Do you even know?'  
  
(Thief - Our Lady Peace)  
  
'From what I understood in my examination of the suit, the suit acts as a barrier to prevent that distortion...whatever they used to craft the material of the suit, there's a high nickel content, so it would act as a decent magnetic barrier, blocking most anything from the electromagnetic field generated. The electromagnetic field being what causes the stealth effect through bending the light spectrum.'  
  
'God, you're sexy when you nerd out.'  
  
Audra just blinked in shock, flushing brightly and ducking her head, losing her train of thought.  
  
'You were my teacher for many of those years...'  
  
When she glanced at him, he was frowning, obviously trying to remember and failing. Sighing softly before she could stop herself, grabbing her bag and pulling it over, carefully moving the wrapped bottles aside to pull out the last of Zao's gifts...a second stealth suit. She handed it to Deacon before digging the second helmet out.  
  
'For you. Please stop using the stealth boys as much? It also might help to talk with Doctor Amari. She might be able to help me think of a way to curtail any additional damage and perhaps repair some of it.'  
  
He just sat there in shock, looking at the suit. Audra grabbed her bedroll and lay it down with his, suddenly exhausted, laying down and watching his face as he looked at the suit. Eventually he laid it down with his bag and lay next to her, surprising her when his arm draped over her waist. They were just starting to fall asleep when she remembered she needed to ask him about Cole.  
  
_Maybe we can repair the neural pathways in his mind...maybe he would remember more then._  
  
Audra dreamt, not the usual nightmares, instead, it was like when she was in Kellogg's memories. Except for this time she was in Deacon's head, running from memory to memory, trying to build something to connect the pathways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went ahead and finally started a Tumblr. There's mostly just some random posts up right now, but I'll update it when I get the new chapters/parts up or any new stories.
> 
>  
> 
> <https://iknaq.tumblr.com>


	2. Astounding Stupidity of Optimism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sturges gets irritated about Audra's absence and she tells him everything.  
> Audra, Deacon, and Glory clear Malden Center.  
> Audra and Deacon pay Elder Maxson a visit and learn more about the ones following them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mods Referenced:  
> Shezrie's Loft  
> Chinese Stealth Suit
> 
> Originally I had Take Me To Church lined up for Deacon, but with the way their conversation took a twist, I thought it was better with Sturges.

Yesterday he'd been trying to figure out how to better insulate the water purifiers, if you had asked him what he was going to be doing the next couple days, it would have been more of the same. Then returning to his little home in the evening, worrying and missing her.  
  
Sturges certainly had not expected Audra to reappear suddenly after her broadcast the night before and want to lock herself in the Red Rocket. He admitted he was miffed and more than slightly worried when she'd up and disappeared, only to have her return just as suddenly, looking even more worn out then she had before. She didn't want to talk about it, mumbling that they would talk later with a pointed look at the back of Deacon's head.  
Deacon spent that first night, the three of them crowding on the bed again but had to leave early in the morning to check in, promising Audra that he'd be back in a day or two. She'd spoken with Nick and he said would be back in a few days and MacCready said he'd be there tomorrow. She managed to force herself to go to the office to work with Preston briefly but she eventually wandered back, looking tired. He'd gotten her tucked in for a nap and went to the shop, working on some projects, not wanting to leave her alone or go too far.  
  
He could hear her getting up and he knew she would find him when she was ready. The sound of the washer starting reminding him he needed to do some, as well. Eyebrow raising a bit when she padded into the shop, barefoot, wearing a tank top and some of his overalls folded up so she didn't trip. Her hair was down and he wanted to run his fingers through it, frowning at the grease on his gloves and arms. Audra hopped up on the workbench and just watched him quietly for a bit, looking up at her after a few minutes.  
  
'How you doing, darlin'?'  
  
'Better...ish. Had an interesting several weeks.'  
  
'...Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?'  
  
Audra sighed and he frowned at her a bit. He hadn't meant to ask that, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know why she took off for a word, worrying them. Worrying him. He thought...  
  
_I thought we were more to each other than that._  
  
(My Heart I Surrender - I Prevail)  
  
'We are. I love you, Sturges. I just didn't know how handle everything. It felt better to leave then to make you guys deal with my problems. Sometimes I just need to be alone. I don't know...I don't know how to describe it...what am I supposed to say on those days? Wake up and tell you I hurt so much I feel like it would be better if you just shot me in my head and put me out of my misery? To make you understand that sometimes there's nothing that can be done, that no matter how hard I try I worry and daily...hourly...every ten fucking minutes I think about how much better the world would be without me. How I go through each day questioning every little action, worrying about the consequences and how I'm going to drive you all away? How I look at each gun, each knife, anything and imagine how I could use it and finally end my pain? How...'  
  
Sturges blinked, realising he'd said that aloud and not just in his head. Feeling like someone had knocked the wind out of him. He didn't know...he didn't understand how it was for her. Preston had tried to explain to him once, the dark thoughts that plagued him and it made him hurt for his friend, but trying to imagine Audra thinking that...it really hurt. It was only slightly tempered by her words, it was the first time she'd said she'd loved him that wasn't in a joking manner and he knew it was the same for him. They'd gone passed being just friends once they started making plans for the future.  
He pulled his gloves off, dropped his tool belt and goggles and stepped to the workbench, cutting her off as he grabbed handfuls of her hair and kissed her deeply. Touching every inch of skin he could, not sexually, just to assure himself that she was really here. Laughing just a bit when he pulled back and saw the grease he'd smeared on her.  
  
'Gonna have to shower.'  
  
'Later. I told John the story, I want to tell you now...'  
  
She jumped off the bench, pulling him down onto the little couch he had in the corner, sitting with her legs draped across his lap. He pulled out his pack and offered her one before lighting his cigarette, listening as she told him about her life before, all the things she hadn't told him yet. It was the middle of the night by the time she finished, staring at him with a wounded look on her face.  
  
'You should run far far away from me...bad things happen to everyone in my life.'  
  
'Not happening, sugar. And next time you have to run away, I won't stop you, but please tell me before I leave so I know you weren't kidnapped or something.'  
  
Audra just sighed and picked at a hole in his overalls. He looked at her, seeing the pain in her eyes and the tired lines on her face. She wasn't perfect...none of them were perfect...but as much as she didn't believe, she was worth it to him and he told her so. He told her he loved her for the first time and he meant it, his kisses long and lingering, when she moaned softly he couldn't stop himself from stirring. He knew it could be months...years before she found Shaun, before she would be able to settle, but he held onto that. The promise that she would share that with him after everything. Trying to pull back, only to have Audra grab his overalls and yank him forward, wrapping her in his arms and lifting her off the couch and back on to the workbench.  
  
'Don't have to do this...'  
  
'We don't have to, but I want to. Do you? I've missed you.'  
  
'I missed you too, sugar.'  
  
Sturges moaned softly as she nipped at his neck, marking him. He didn't know what would happen if something ever did happen to one of them, but even if he knew something bad would happen to him, he could never give her up. He pulled the overall straps off her shoulders, leaning down and nipping a nipple through the thin tank top. She ran her fingers through his hair, moaning and gripping tight.  
  
'Can't begin to tell you how many times I've thought of taking you on the workbench like this, darlin. You look so good.'  
  
Sturges grinned as he bit at her neck, knowing what his voice did to her, sliding his hand down the overalls and into her panties. She was wet and warm and ever since that night in the office that started them down this path, constantly on his mind.  
  
(Take Me to Chuch - Hozier)  
  
He couldn't describe the sensation, having her squirm on his hand, his mouth on the tender pulse point below her ear. He wasn't a wordsmith like Deacon. He wasn't sarcastic like MacCready. He wasn't cynical like Nick. He thought himself a simple and generally happy man and he was willing to put his belief in others and this was probably the closest he got to actually feeling religious. Holding her in his arms like this was a blessing and he was more than happy to worship her.  
Audra cupped his face and turned it up to look at her, the question clear on her face. He flushed and told her where his thoughts had wandered and she flushed in return.  
  
'My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing.'  
  
'Your father must have been a smart man.'  
  
'That was a quote from Aldous Huxley that da particularly liked. We weren't religious, but he always told me that if there was something divine out there...it couldn't be found in a building, not like that, that it was all the small things. A book that invoked emotion, a song, a sunset, a kiss.'  
  
'I think I would have liked your old man, but family is a conversation for another time.'  
  
Audra moaned when he took her mouth again, leaning into her and moaning back when she rocked her hips against him. It had been too long, too long since the last time he got to hold her like this and they were both tired and hungry, but they couldn't stop now.  
Eager hands unfastened his overalls and let them drop, yanking the shirt off him impatiently. He pulled the ones she was wearing off, along with her panties, watching as she pulled her tank top off. He stepped back, just so he could get a better view of her. Flushed, squirming, and amazing. Fulfilling this long held fantasy of his.  
She looked at him like she knew, leaning back on her arms so her chest thrust out, the nipple rings catching the light. Crazily flexible as she drew her knees up, feet resting on the edge of the workbench, leaving her open to him. He couldn't wait, reaching back for her and making sure she was still excited before lining himself up and slowly filling her.  
  
'Ohhhhhhh Jesus, Audra.'  
  
He wrapped her legs around his waist, tilting his head down to kiss her deeply, she rocked against him but all he could do was wrap her up tightly in his arms and hold her to him. She smelled like sweat and grease with a faint tinge of her sweet soap and she was so warm and soft in his arms. Her hair was long, it looked so out of place and beautiful, turning her face up to him and kissing again.  
  
It started slow, sweet but soon they were rutting against each other frantically.  
  
Small things.  
  
How she looked leaning back on her arms, ass dangling off the edge of the workbench. The way she bit her lower lip and looked at him. The way she called his name. The curve of her lips as she smiled at him. How her hands felt gripping his upper arms and then wrapping around his shoulders.  
  
He could feel her clenching around him and he didn't know how much longer he could hang on. Sturges reached down and his thumb found her little bundle of nerves under the patch of hair. He closed his eyes and just felt. She was so hot and tight and slick around him. Their bodies sliding against each other. The burning in his legs. The pounding of his heart, not just from this, but everything...from her words.  
  
'I love you, Sturges.'  
  
Sturges groaned and kissed her hard as he let go, the pulse of his release making him gasp and lean forward, bracing his hands on the workbench for support. Audra was wrapped around him, whimpering softly. He kissed the top of her head and just cuddled against her, unsure when he could get his legs working again.  
  
'I love you and when this is done...'  
  
'When this is done Shaun and I are living with you, here...or wherever...anywhere...'  
  
'Us and whomever else we want. I know you love the others and I wouldn't take that away from you, besides I've started to take a shine to them. Especially Deacon. Maybe it's cause he's broken and I like fixing things.'  
  
She shivered and he pulled back raising an eyebrow, knowing exactly what she was thinking from the way she twitched around him. Laughing and kissing her again.  
  
'Soon enough, love.'  
  
'I know...or at least I hope. I lied, I don't know. I don't know anything. That must be why you like me too and Nick and Mac. Jesus, we all have problems. I love you guys so much...'  
  
'Hey, hey, hey...let's go get cleaned up and get some food, I can hear your stomach growling.'  
  
Sturges scooped her up and carried her into the little bathroom he built off of the backdoor before she started thinking too much, chuckling when she just leant against the wall with a yawn. He was going to have to expand a lot more if they were all going to fit here. He washed her carefully before scrubbing himself down quickly. By the time he got her out of the shower and dried off she was curled in his arms snoring softly. Sturges chuckled and tucked her in bed, risking leaving her alone for a little bit to run over to Sanctuary and grab some leftovers from the kitchen, stopping briefly to speak with the guard gate.  
He scarfed down a sandwich and finished a little bit more of his project, grinning down at the pieces on the floor.  
  
_One step closer, she's gonna love it._  
  
-  
  
'Oh my god...I do not know you...you are such a dork.'  
  
'Come on, I have no clue what you're talking about bestest buddy. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle...'  
  
He just laughed as she turned bright red and tried to stomp off, dancing around so he stayed in front of her, thrusting his hips suggestively.  
  
(Sexy And I Know It - LMFAO)  
  
'I gotta passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it.'  
  
'JESUS CHRIST. I shall forever regret finding that god damn box of holotapes.'  
  
Deacon grinned more as she stomped past him again. She was so so red and it just made her pale skin and freckles all that much cuter. He was the ginger, but she still somehow managed to out pale him with that fair skin from her ma.  
He blinked and stopped walking, surprised at the sudden recollection of her telling him about her mom and showing him pictures...after....after something. The memory started to fade an he frowned, plastering on a grin and wiggling his hips with a raised eyebrow when she turned around to look at him.  
  
'Yuck it up, buttercup. I'll tell Glory you were being an ass.'  
  
'Hey. That's fighting dirty and Glory was my friend first.'  
  
She was smirking so he stuck his tongue out at her and then went still, both of them flushing as her eyes locked onto his mouth.  
  
'Come on. Let's go get this done, I told Glory I'd show her my albino deathclaw after she got back from whatever she went off to do.'  
  
'Seriously, do you ever listen to what comes out of your own mouth?'  
  
She tried to put on a grumpy face but she was losing the battle with grinning and he lifted his glasses and gave her a quick wink.  
  
'Do you want to see my albino deathclaw too? I call him Casper.'  
  
The next thing he knew Chunk was flying at him with a laugh and he dropped his bag and caught her in his arms, swinging her around onto his back. She settled her cheek against his back, legs around his waist and hanging onto his shoulders like they'd done it a million times before.  
  
_We have you idiot._  
  
Deacon wasn't sure at first whether she'd actually said that but ultimately decided it was just her voice in his head. Crouching carefully to grab his bag and pass it to her as he piggybacked her down the road to Taffington. They figured they could stop and rest up a little, grab some grub before checking out Malden Center.  
He stumbled a little when he felt her blowing air over his ear teasingly, shaking her under the guise of adjusting her position, but that led to her nuzzling at this neck softly.  
  
'I will drop you on your ass.'  
  
His voice was only slightly strained and he hoped she thought it was from something other than the fact that his jeans were starting to grow uncomfortable. She was wearing civvies and he could feel that she'd forgone a bra, her coat open and her chest soft and warm against his back. But, of course, this was Chunk he was talking about and she just nipped on the side of his neck before hopping off his back. She handed him his bag and started down the road again and that little shit was swinging her hips and fluttering her eyelashes at him, her ponytail whipping back and forth.  
  
'You know what I found out the other night? Sturges has a crush on you...and Nick and Mac to a lesser extent, but mostly you.'  
  
_God damn it, Queenie._  
  
He could feel his face flaming and tripped over his own feet a little bit, he hoped his recovery was at least somewhat graceful, not dignifying her with an answer as they reached the boathouse. Someone from the Minutemen had come by and started flushing out the necessities, but otherwise it was still unsettled. They warmed some food before settling down to take turns at a quick nap. Deacon just sat on the floor, his back against the bed, sighing softly as her fingers curled at the back of his neck, brushing the wig lightly. She was sound asleep, but there was something familiar about the gesture that was comforting.  
He saw something sitting in her bag and opened it curiously, smiling faintly.  
  
_Of course._  
  
He remembered a little after seeing it. This book wasn't the original one, that was probably destroyed long ago or stashed somewhere but Chunk had a copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Just like the one he had in his bag, with many of the same pages dog eared. This, this is why they had talked about her mother the first time. The book she gave her, the book he gave her. Frowning when he remembered her mother even more or rather how she wasn't much of a mother at all.  
  
_Not like your family was any better darling._  
  
Deacon sighed, shaking his head, putting the book back in her bag before heading downstairs and stepping out to the back deck to have a cigarette. He couldn't remember his family other than a general feeling of disgust leaving a bad taste in his mouth, he supposed that was a benefit of his forgetting.  
He wandered around front and looked around a bit, feeling like they were being watched, turning to head inside when he heard movement. Frowning when he reached the top of the stairs and she wasn't in the bed, turning the corner to check the other room.  
  
'Charmer?'  
  
The sound of a suppressed weapon being fired several times downstairs had him drawing his pistol and nearly jumping out of his skin when he heard her voice.  
  
'You can come down now, we're clear.'  
  
Deacon walked down slowly, eyes darting back and forth behind his glasses, taking in the situation. Unable to keep the slightly disgusted look off his face when he saw a couple of Cole's men on the floor. Audra was nowhere to be seen until he saw one of the bodies move and the faint shimmer, realising she was crouched there, searching the body. Plastering on a smirk and wandering over.  
  
'Do you ever just feel sorry for the poor bastards that fight us? They don't stand a chance.'  
  
She had a matching smirk for him as she pulled her helmet off. How the hell did she have time to get her hair braided and suited up? She had to have woken up almost immediately after he went down stairs or she secretly had super speed or something. Audra holstered the pistol and kicked at one of the bodies with a sigh.  
  
'Nothing on them. We should probably get ready to go to Malden Center.'  
  
He followed her upstairs, changing into his suit and throwing one of his settler outfits over it as she got her bag together. Turning when she made an irritated noise in her throat, raising an eyebrow, she was sitting on the bed with her back against the wall staring at him with intense frown.  
  
'How the hell did you manage to get a cult that worships Gov, of all people, pissed off enough that they call you the heretic and me your whore?'  
  
_You have the suit on, run. Run and save that story for another day, if she gets pissed you can say you were following her example. You don't owe her an explanation._  
_Oh, yes you do._  
_Nope._  
_Yup. Idiot._  
  
Deacon went still, getting his bag together and the helmet with slow deliberate movements, avoiding eye contact.  
  
(Slept So Long - Jay Gordon)  
  
He was about to make a break for it when he made the mistake of looking up at her. Audra was pissed, but it was what else that he saw that stalled him enough for her to speak again.  
  
'You turn and try to run away from me, you're going to get a switchblade in the ass. And don't try to protest, I have plenty of stims and you have two phials of blue goo in your bag so it's not like I'd be doing any permanent damage. Now, spill.'  
  
'You ever stop to think about how messed up our relationship is?'  
  
'Do we even have a relationship anymore? And what does it matter in this world, we're killers.'  
  
'Yeah, but we don't kill people for money. We do kill an awful lot of people. But it's different.'  
  
'Oh, but I have taken jobs to kill for money, who do you think cleared the warehouses for John?'  
  
'You know what I mean, we kill bad guys and stuff. We're the good guys and we're partners and bestest buddies, right?'  
  
He sat down on the bed with her as the tears started to spill over, slinging his arm around her. Regret. That's what he saw in her face that made him stop and it was rough. She killed to keep them safe, but she still felt bad taking lives. He knew the feeling, but it was different when it was assholes like this or raiders, they deserved what was coming to them. He should have been keeping better watch, he should have been protecting her.  
  
'The Circle of Steel. I knew the guy that eventually became their leader, Cole. I thought they were all dead. Apparently not and they've probably followed Maxson across the country and watched while he's moved up the ranks in DC. They worship the name. They didn't start out that way, but they kinda went crazy over the years. I should have been watching out better. You shouldn't have had to do that.'  
  
'They weren't the first and I doubt they'll be the last.'  
  
Audra took a couple deep shuddering breaths and just like that he saw the practiced mask come back over. Wiping her face and smirking again. She swung her bag and rifle on and ran down stairs, grabbing one of the bodies and dragging it out the back and around, tossing it off the side of the garage where the pests could take care of it as he grabbed the other. He was quiet for a few minutes before looking over at her again as they walked.  
  
'Come on, we have shit to do.'  
  
_They weren't the first..._  
  
'How many of them have you run into?'  
  
'I've taken care of four following us since the last time we were here.'  
  
Four in two weeks and he'd taken care of another two...they were getting bolder...or more desperate. And how the hell was she taking care of them without him noticing?  
  
'After we clear Malden, we need to update Dez and I want to talk with Tom, but then I'm going to go have a word with Arthur and see what he knows.'  
  
'That might not be the best of ideas, they might worry you're trying to corrupt him or something. Besides, they're a bunch of bigots. Does he know about you...?'  
  
She hung back by a broken bus as she rapidly took out the super mutants hanging around old Medford Memorial. Looking at him again as she shouldered her rifle.  
  
'Of course I'm going to corrupt him. One, I don't think he's as completely dickish as everyone thinks, I think that it's just been pushed on him forever, but I think I got him thinking last time. Two, even if he has been a bigot, do people not deserve second chances? Three, he has two of the things that drive me nuts. The eyes and the voice, plus he has a nice body. I mean seriously, have you seen him without his battlecoat on? No? Shame. If you're coming with, I'll make sure he gets out of it before we leave. Then there's Danse's booty, shame the man hides in his power armour all the time. And no, he doesn't know who I really am yet, I'm Quinn Roberts the General of the Minutemen and pre-war relic. He has the King of Diamonds tattoo, just so you know...I kept mine covered around him...'  
  
The mention of second chances is what ended up softening him to the idea, Charmer trailing off and then letting out a snort as they turned the corner to the Malden Center entrance and saw who was standing there.  
  
'Wait. We got assigned the same damned job?'  
  
Deacon had to chuckle as well, an eyebrow raising as Charmer bounced over and gave the woman a hug. When Glory looked up he held his arms out, earning a glare and making him laugh.  
  
'With all our "compartmentalization" bullshit - this sort of shit happens. You got the job from the Goodneighbor side, I got it from Griswold Safehouse.'  
  
Audra looked between them curiously.  
  
'How's this sort of thing happen?'  
  
'So Grisworld's got trouble and they send a cryptic note to HQ. "Send in the big guns." And on the other side, the Doctor's got troubles, too, so she sends her own damned cryptic note. And then comes the comedy. Well... since we're both here. What do you say the two heavies join forces and rock the heavens a little? Gives me a chance to see what you and Deacon really get up to in the field.'  
  
'Usually it's spa days and macrame, but hey, I'm up for some mayhem. How do you want to play this boss?'  
  
Audra looked between the two of them, head cocking to the side as she went into planning mode. He was taking his overlayers off until he was just in the suit, everything else stuffed away in the bag and helmet in hand. Audra did the same and Glory looked between them, confused as they pulled the helmets on.  
  
'Okay, Deeks, you and I will go in and assess. Glory hang back just a little till we have a good scope of things, then Deacon will tell you what's up and you'll come in and plow them down, Deacon keep them off of Glory while I get any stragglers and side rooms. Call out as necessary so Glory doesn't accidentally plow us down.'  
  
'I doubt I'd plow you down...holy shit.'  
  
'Yeah, kinda hard to be careful about mowing someone down when you can't see them. Let's do this.'  
  
He couldn't help but chuckle a little as the two of them made their way in, finding her hand and holding onto it as they crept into the first room, pulling her close to whisper dramatically.  
  
'Since we're a team, you think we could use a code name? Red Orchard? Or... Code Violet? Or... the Death Bunnies. That'll confuse them.'  
  
'Shhh. Your mouth is going to get you in trouble.'  
  
'When doesn't it?'  
  
He went quiet when she broke away from him and he saw the synths, just watching the shimmer circle behind them before the synths fell with the soft sound of Deliverer. It was quick and quiet other than the thud of their bodies hitting the floor. Deacon nearly jumped when suddenly there was a hand feeling out for him.  
  
'Okay, go get Glory and come down the next level and clear out the main area. I'll avoid Glory's shots and clear the side rooms.'  
  
'Be careful.'  
  
It was a thing of beauty, the three of them, watching things unfold through the scope of his rifle.  
  
(Glory and Gore - Lorde)  
  
Glory did what she does best and mowed the synths down, he picked off who he could with his rifle and occasionally he'd see a synth fall with a pop, the telltale shimmer barely giving her away.  
  
'Down the left.'  
  
He just barely heard her call over the chug of the minigun. It didn't take long for them to completely obliterate the synths and the poor bastards fighting them. Pulling his helmet off as they reached the elevator to head back up, jumping and laughing when he got a smack on the ass from an invisible hand before Audra appeared next to him.  
  
'You are one ass-kicking machine. And Deacon, you ain't so bad, either.'  
  
'Well, I aims to please.'  
  
'And Malden is secure. I'll tell Grisworld the package is incoming. It's been a god-damned pleasure. Even you, D-Man.'  
  
He couldn't help but smirk at Glory, making grabby hands towards them.  
  
'So group hug? Yes? No?'  
  
Glory laughed while Audra hugged his side, not missing the raised eyebrow from Glory.  
  
'Always the comedian.'  
  
'The pleasure was all mine.'  
  
And Audra actually sounded sincere compared to his joking and Glory's sarcasm.  
  
'Aww, now I'm going to cry. If everything runs like it's supposed to our paths shouldn't cross again in the field. But knowing how pear shaped things go, see you around.'  
  
'We'll see you back at HQ if you get back before we leave, okay? Oh, and Glory...'  
  
Audra moved over, grabbing the other woman's arm and walking away a little, mumbling soft enough that he couldn't hear what they were talking about. Whatever Chunk said, it was apparently hilarious, making Glory snort in amusement. They parted ways and Audra stuffed her helmet in her bag, swinging his bag around to do the same, letting out a bray when he looked up at her.  
Weirdo was wearing a pompadour wig like his, her braids must have been tucked up under it and the pair of sunglasses she took off of him back at Diamond City. Smirking at him when he pulled on the same and laced her arm with his.  
  
'Come on, it shouldn't take us too long to get back if we hustle. I need to talk with Tom about a project.'  
  
'What kinda project?'  
  
'Oh, you'll see hehe. Then in the morning I figured I'd head for the Prydwen. You can tag along if you want, but you'll probably want to keep your suit and helmet on. Arthur will try to bitch about it, but I can handle him.'  
  
They fell into a comfortable silence as they wandered back to HQ. Making it back just after dark, Charmer immediately peeling off to talk with Tom as Dez focused on him, yelling after her.  
  
'Traitor! Next time you get to do the paperwork.'  
  
'Deacon, report.'  
  
He spent the next half an hour updating Dez and once she was satisfied, wandered over where the two were huddled over a notebook, Tom sketching something as she spoke.  
  
'...yeah, but what if we did a carbon nanotube? My biggest concern is how we're going to insulate it and how we're going to trigger it. Secondary shell? Something that can be twisted discretely to be activated? We'd need to make sure it was attuned to the same range as the bioelectric frequencies.'  
  
'That's brilliant! Oh man, it'd have to be dual walled then maybe an additional shell, I dunno about getting it that small just yet, but we might be able to pull off something for the wrist.'  
  
'If you need to, you could contact Sturges and see if he has any other ideas, too but I'd like to keep this hush hush so no one knows we have it...if we can get it to work.'  
  
'Noooo problemo, you never know when someone's listening, man.'  
  
Now, Deacon was no idiot but after listening to them for another few minutes, he was completely lost. All he gathered was that they were trying to make a small wearable energy source of some kind, god only knows what kind of trouble that was going to cause.  
He looked up as Charmer dropped her bag on the mattress across from him, letting out a little sigh of relief as she peeled her suit off, leaving her in a sports bra and boy shorts and before yanking on some pants and a shirt.  
  
'Oh man, I like the suit but damn...the swamp ass.'  
  
The sat there and just talked for a while, Deacon eventually drifting off for a few hours of sleep after a thoroughly entertaining round of 'Random shit Charmer says'.  
  
-  
  
'Are you seriously getting all gussied up for him?'  
  
'No, I'm cleaning up because I hate feeling fucking grimy and you might as well get your ass in here, too. You smell like stinky armpits after wearing the suit yesterday. We can wipe the suits down so that before we put them on again we don't immediately stink them up, plus there's some body powder in the medicine cabinet. Ugh, we should have just come here after talking with Dez and slept in the comfy bed, but I was too tired.'  
  
Audra chortled a bit as she scrubbed herself down, catching him peeking in the shower.  
  
'You know, you're more than welcome to join me but if you'd like to wait I'll finish up and make some breakfast. Can you grab me a Nuka-Cola? Oh, this is where I got the bottle of vodka I gave you, need to remember to bring Arthur a bottle of the bourbon, I kinda drank the first one I grabbed for him. Oh, that reminds me...'  
  
She finished what she was doing and wrapped herself in a towel, grabbing her radio from her bag and sitting on the bed.  
  
'Brotherhood, this is General Roberts for Elder Maxson, requesting a moment of his time on the secure channel.'  
  
She repeated herself once more before switching over, making sure the volume was up as she dried off and pulled on some undies. Rolling her eyes when she saw Deacon just standing in the doorway holding her drink and watching her. Padding over and taking the bottle, snapping her teeth at him playfully.  
  
'I'd say I don't bite, but you should know better...'  
  
Grinning and sipping her soda as he flushed.  
  
'Thank you for the drink, go get cleaned up and I'll wipe our suits down and make some food.'  
  
Audra took care of the suits quickly then went downstairs and made some breakfast, grabbing the radio when she heard the telltale crackle, taking a seat on the couch.  
  
'General Roberts, this is Elder Maxson.'  
  
'Hello Arthur...are you free for lunch or dinner? I have something I'd like to discuss with you. I'll have one person with me.'  
  
'I can make time, do you have an ETA?'  
  
'No, we're still waking up and getting showered and stuff, then we were going to start wandering that way. If we're going to be any later than noon I'll let you know and plan for dinner.'  
  
'Very well, General. See you later.'  
  
'Dinner and drinks with the Elder? Does that count as a first date?'  
  
Audra rolled her eyes as she looked up the stairs, trying not to squeak as he wandered down just wrapped in a towel and from the smirk on his face, he was fishing for a reaction.  
  
_That punk._  
  
'No, it's more like a business dinner. There's some food in the kitchen, dear. Not like you take me anywhere nice...'  
  
'Well, I'll be sure to make a reservation at the finest restaurant in town, Casa de Raider. Only the finest in leather formal wear accepted.'  
  
She stuck her tongue out at him and they both just started laughing, hopping up to join him in the kitchen, eating some of the mutfruit and melon she chopped up, gesturing to the pantry and fridge.  
  
'There's other stuff in there if you want anything else. Edward is a dear and keeps it stocked for me, he has a key and I trust him, he and Jack are the only ones that know I use this place. Jack was a dear and gifted it to me after I helped him with that little alien-for-a-father problem. I'll make you a key so you can use it when you want.'  
  
Audra left him in the kitchen and wandered upstairs to get their clothes out of the dryer, tossing the pile on the bed, bobbing her head when she heard the jukebox start.  
  
(Rumble and Sway - Jamie N Commons)  
  
She was stuffing clothing into her duffle bag when he came wandering in, hips wiggling, laughing and wiggling along too. He'd been in the mood to dance ever since they found the box of holotapes in the bar by Swan's Pond , Deacon and Mac making her pop them into the pipboy and listen the whole way back to Diamond City.  
She'd spent a couple days at Sanctuary, hanging out with the guys as they showed up before the three of them wandered off to do some Railroad work while Nick went off with Preston to gather intel on the Castle now that the weather was starting to warm up again. Mac got called away to assist with one of the scout teams clearing some settlements to the south, so she went back to HQ with Deacon and appeased Dez by running around doing everything P.A.M. and Carrington came up with.  
Deacon wandered into the bathroom to dress, her smile wilting a little bit as she pulled a tank top and her short shorts on, wondering if this might have been what it would have been like if things had been different for them. Plastering a grin back on and taking his hand as he came out, pulling him into a quick dance, laughing as he spun her around.  
  
They finished packing their bags and she made him a key, pulling their stealth suits on before setting off for the airport.  
  
'Care to test how stealthy we are?'  
  
'Charmer...what are you talking about?'  
  
'Lancer Captain Kells always goes down to the airport to check on the Logistics team at 11:30 am on the nose. He spends about a half an hour with them before heading back up for lunch, but the vertibird goes back up after bringing him down. Think we're good enough get up there without being noticed?'  
  
'Yes, where's the challenge?'  
  
'Well, getting up there is one thing, but then we have to get inside - past the guards, down the ladder and into Arthur's quarters without drawing attention to the fact that door appear to move without people opening them. Still confident?'  
  
'Pffft. Let's do this.'  
  
They stopped a bit before the airport, pulling off their jackets and putting out their helmets, holding hands to keep track of each other as they ran up to the airport. She tugged him away from the main entrance and headed off towards the broken airplanes, showing him the airplane that was conveniently close enough to hop to the second floor, rushing over and standing off to the side of the landing pad. They only had to wait for a little bit before they saw the vertibird coming down, moving a bit closer and waiting. As soon as Kells started to hop down they rushed over and climbed up quietly, clinging to the cargo netting at the back.  
The flight up was quick and easy, it was when they dropped down to the flight deck that Audra started to wonder what the hell was wrong with them. She knew they could do it, it was just a stupid prank to play on Arthur, but she knew he was enjoying the adrenaline rush as much as she was. Grabbing his hand again and dragging him towards the storeroom. Lifting her helmet up with a finger to her lips, winking and grabbing a wrench sitting on top of one of the crates, chucking it against the wall. The metal on metal gave a wonderful clang and she pulled her helmet back down and grabbed his hand, dragging him off to one side, waiting for the pair in the power suits to pass before making a break for the door.  
  
(Crazy - Gnarls Barkley)  
  
He opened it slowly, allowing her to slip in. Luckily, there was no one by the doors and he followed, closing it behind them. She shimmied down the ladder quickly, seeing Arthur standing at his favorite spot on the viewing deck. Grabbing Deacon as soon as he came down, yanking him towards the back stairs as a couple Knights walked by with their lunch trays before going for Arthur's door.  
She saw Danse's head pop out, apparently looking for the Elder at the sound of his door opening, leaving the door cracked and shoving Deacon in the bathroom before crouching down by the couch. She almost blew the whole thing when she saw him peek into the doorway, the confused look on his face nearly making her laugh, closing the door behind him. Pulling Deacon out of the bathroom and pushing him down onto the couch, yanking her helmet off.  
  
'Oh man, Danse almost made me blow it. You okay?'  
  
'Peachy keen jellybean. So, now that we're here, what's the plan?'  
  
'You might want to keep your face covered, seeing as how they might be pissed to be missing a recruit that walked off. Want a drink before I call Arthur in?'  
  
'Uh...sure, might as well.'  
  
Deacon pulled of his helmet and ended up wearing a scarf across his face and a pair of sunglasses but not his regular ones, his head hidden by a beret. She pulled out the bottle she brought for Arthur and poured him a glass, allowing him a little bit of time to enjoy it while pulling her suit off and tucking it in her bag, unbraiding her hair so it fell in soft waves down her back. Remembering to grab her sweatband and cover her tattoo. Pulling the radio out, pouring herself a glass and then sitting on the couch next to Deacon, leaning into his side.  
  
'This is General Roberts for Elder Maxson. Secure channel.'  
  
It was just a few moments before she heard the reply, he must have had the radio in the viewing room with him.  
  
'General, am I to take it we're missing lunch?'  
  
'Of course not, as long as you grab something other than the mystery meat I saw some Knights walking by with. You also have a present waiting for you in your room.'  
  
She truly did not mean to make that sound as suggestive as it came out, but realised that only after Deacon snickered. Smacking his shoulder lightly.  
  
'Hush you.'  
  
'Is he really that cute? I haven't seen him up close since he was a bit younger.'  
  
'You'll see momentarily.'  
  
And she had to snicker too when she heard the heavy footsteps approaching the door rapidly, the door opening and Arthur stomping into his room with Danse hot on his heels.  
  
'Good afternoon gentlemen.'  
  
'General. How...how did you come to be in my quarters and with another person in tow? How the hell did you get up here?'  
  
She just grinned at the men and took a sip, watching Arthur take a couple deep breaths to calm himself, reaching over to the dresser and holding the bottle out to Arthur.  
  
'A gift, darling. Much better then the stuff we had last time, this one is a lot closer to what I remember from before the war and as soon as I had some I knew I had to share it with you. Danse, would you care for a glass? It really is worth trying. I have several other bottles, so if we finish that one then I can bring you another at a later date.'  
  
Deacon was shaking silently next to her but not making a sound, discretely reaching down and pinching his side as she smiled at Arthur sweetly. The men eventually took the bottle and poured themselves a glass, Arthur sitting at the table and Danse standing by the door.  
  
'Oh, pardon my manners, gentlemen this is my shadow. Shadow, this is Elder Arthur Maxson and Paladin Danse. You know, I never caught your first name Danse, what is it?'  
  
'Just Danse, ma'am.'  
  
'Oh, Jesus, do I have to beat you guys down to get you to relax a little again? Shadow is cool. We came up on the vertibird Kells took down to go check on the kiddos in Logistics. He should be back up here in about fifteen minutes. Creature of habit, that one is...very easy to sneak around.'  
  
She didn't miss the look that passed between the two of them and the fact that Arthur hadn't spoken since his first question, drinking his first glass slowly before pouring himself another.  
  
'This is truly much better than any other I've had. Thank you for the gift, Quinn. Now, what did you wish to speak with me about?'  
  
'After lunch, talking about it is going to throw my appetite off.'  
  
'Very well, shall we grab something from the mess?'  
  
She smiled and stood up, taking the offered arm, watching as the men eyed her outfit. Rolling her eyes when Arthur raised an eyebrow.  
  
'Don't give me that look, I'm perfectly decent, just a little warm. Don't you ever get warm wearing that coat all the time?'  
  
Tilting her head and giving Deacon a wink as Arthur shucked his jacket, leaving it on his bed and offering her an arm. She took his arm with a smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek as they followed Danse out the door. Arthur's voice a soft rumble as his beard tickled her ear.  
  
'Are you doing well, you've lost weight and look tired.'  
  
'Tell you more later. I'm okay, really.'  
  
He left it at that and the four made their way to the mess, Danse in the lead and Deacon bringing up the rear. They had to pause a few times so Audra could return some greetings, promising to speak with Cade before leaving. They grabbed some food and brought their trays back to Arthur's room.  
They ate and made small talk about the events in the Commonwealth, bringing the men up to date on some of the latest settlements.  
  
'Well, General it sounds like you and your Colonel have done an amazing job at getting the Minutemen back on their feet. Now may we talk about why you came?'  
  
Audra sighed and poured herself another glass of the bourbon, sitting down on the couch next to Arthur this time, turning to face him.  
  
'What do you know of the Circle of Steel?'  
  
'Those nuts? They are a cancer that I had to help eradicate. What makes you bring them up?'  
  
'Because apparently they're gunning for me and some of those closest to me. We've taken care of probably a dozen that have been following us for several months. The last few weeks the rate at which they have been attacking has increased. It has been theorized that you likely have some in your ranks that have followed you here from DC. They view me as an abomination that is a threat to your holiness.'  
  
Arthur made a sound of irritation, looking over to Danse and Deacon.  
  
'Would you excuse us? If you would accompany this Shadow, Paladin, go enjoy the viewing deck or the forecastle. You're welcome to the beer.'  
  
'Danse. I am very protective of my Shadow and I do not wish to hear that he was forced to unmask or discuss anything he was not comfortable with. It was good to see you again.'  
  
She gave the Paladin a slight smile, turning to face Arthur as they closed the door, jumping a little when he brushed her hair back by her temple. Flushing slightly at the concern on his face.  
  
'Are you okay?'  
  
'I had to use some less than savory means to extract some information from one of them, but so far they haven't actually come close to hurting me or the others that I am aware of. There were two just recently that I think were going to try, but I saw them before they saw me and I took them out.'  
  
'Are you okay?'  
  
Audra sighed and looked up at him, he looked tired too. He was too young for the grey coming in at his temples, reaching out and brushing her fingers over it lightly, mimicking his earlier motion.  
  
'Are you okay? You look tired. I'm tired...there have been delays in searching for my son. Then there were some important anniversaries from my life before that recently passed that really did a number on my head. The depression had me running away from everyone for a while. Now I have these assholes coming after us...I just want to catch a break.'  
  
'Tired, as well. Our search for the Institute has not turned up any promising leads thus far. I had hoped we had rid ourselves of the Circle the last time we had to deal with them. Radroaches, the lot of them. I understand the importance of the Maxson name, but we are not gods.'  
  
'How did they start? How did they get to that point?'  
  
He got up and poured himself another drink, sitting back down, slinging his arm across the back of the couch. She could feel the heat radiating off of him, watching him rub a hand over his face before answering.  
  
'Did you read about the Vault Dweller and the Master last time you were here? Sometime after the defeat of the Master a group splintered off calling themselves the Circle of Steel, they wanted a much more rigid interpretation of the Codex. They did not think the common man should have any type of technology. As the years went on there were rumors that they had started to grow more fanatical. The High Elder at the time condemned the group and ordered them eliminated, but they've continued to pop up over the years.'  
  
Audra sighed and she smiled a little, feeling him play with the ends of her hair, she knew if she looked up he'd be staring at her.  
  
'So, what can we do about these assholes?'  
  
'Well, now that I know they are back I'll be informing the west coast Elders and mount an investigation. If you or any of your Minutemen find any further information it would assist in our search. If there is indeed a member among the crew then I will see what I can do about flushing them out.'  
  
'If there is anyone, they'd have to be communicating out somehow...radio transmissions, unexplained absences during scouting missions, wandering off away from others down at the airport...'  
  
She turned her head and Arthur was indeed staring at her, his gaze raising from her lips to her eyes.  
  
'I would very much like to kiss you, Quinn.'  
  
She couldn't stop the blush, nodding slightly as he laced his fingers in her hair and started pulling her to him. They both smelled of the bourbon, they probably should have stopped at two glasses, but it really was that good. His eyes went slightly unfocused the closer they got, feeling the tickle of his beard against her face.  
  
'Elder, I was told there was a security brea...pardon me.'  
  
Arthur literally growled and Audra couldn't help but laugh as Lancer Captain Kells started to come in and immediately backed out and closed the door again.  
  
'You know, I'm starting to wondering if fate is trying to intervene, Arthur.'  
  
'I don't hold much...mmmphfff.'  
  
Audra grabbed the zipper pull on his suit and yanked him forward, first a soft brush over his lips before deepening the kiss. The kiss tasted of bourbon and his beard was scratching her face but the way he teased his tongue against hers made her lean into him eagerly. Giving a breathless wink as they pulled apart at the knock on the door, sitting back and taking a moment before he called for them to enter. She nearly laughed at the equally blank faces she and Arthur presented as Danse and Deacon came back in, the effect slightly ruined by their swollen lips.  
  
'Sir, Lancer Captain Kells wishes to speak with you.'  
  
She gave Arthur a wink before standing.  
  
'I promised to speak with Cade, I'll go do that and then come say goodbye. Shall we, Shadow?'  
  
Audra laced her arm with Deacon's, walking to the med bay.  
  
'Cade, I need to pick your brain just for a little bit, if you have the time...but first, I am curious if the blood sample you took yielded any interesting results. I am beginning to suspect that it may have.'  
  
'Do you wish to speak in front of your companion or would you prefer doctor/patient confidentiality?'  
  
'My shadow can stay but if we could close the door...'  
  
Cade beckoned them in, pulling the sliding door closed before taking a seat, making a gesture at her.  
  
'Quite frankly you are remarkable. Now, this may be an odd question...but did you possess the ability to regenerate before your time in cryostatis?'  
  
'Regenerate? Hah....no.'  
  
'Well, judging from the sample I took from you, your cells have either been changed or mutated to allow them to repair themselves over time. Anything short of massive trauma is potentially recoverable. You also seem to be more resistant to radiation, as well. Since you woke from cryostasis, have you been ill at all?'  
  
'Yes, I've been unable to eat certain foods, the last time I tried molerat I experienced vomiting and diarrhea for several days. And then when I was visiting Vault 81, I was bitten by an infected molerat. I do not actually recall how bad it was, I remember passing out and then waking up a week later. The doctor there initially thought that I may not ever regain my full strength. I lost a fair amount of weight and was weak for probably a month. The first time I started noticing a faster than normal healing factor was after the deathclaw got me...'  
  
'The mole rat that bit her was some kind of experiment by Vault-Tec. It was a combination of pretty much all the nasty deadly things one could think of. It was touch or go the first few days as she fought the fever and respiratory problems. She also nearly experienced respiratory failure after too much Med-X at one point. Appeared to have no lingering effects or damage. That was before the deathclaw.'  
  
Cade looked at Deacon curiously then turned back to her.  
  
'Would you say his assessment is truthful and accurate?'  
  
'Seeing as he was there for both, yes. Okay...so I'm slightly more resistant to radiation and I heal slowly over time as long as it's not too bad. Did you or Neriah analyze the salve sample?'  
  
'Yes, it was as you said. The glowing fungus compound works as an antimicrobial and the mutfruit is a moisturizer.'  
  
'Okay, here, two more things for you guys to play with. I'd like to withhold what I know of them for now, then we can speak of what you find later. Shadow...if you would not mind waiting outside just a moment, I have one thing I would like to speak with Cade in private about.'  
  
She turned to Cade after Deacon went to stand in the hall, closing the door behind himself. Taking a few deep breaths before looking at Cade.  
  
'If...if my son was...if Shaun was exposed to the same stuff that I believe is responsible for this new development with me...can you theorize how that might affect a growing child's body?'  
  
'Not with any accuracy...I would hope that he would respond as favorably as you seem to have. Anything else?'  
  
'How long would it take to run a pregnancy test? My cycle has been extremely erratic since I woke, but this lull has been slightly longer than the others and I would rather be safe than sorry. I have a birth control implant in my arm, so I doubt I really have anything to worry about there, but if I'm going to be running around then I'd rather know for sure.'  
  
Cade stood and grabbed a cup from behind the counter and motioned to a commode in the corner.  
  
'If you are able, a urine test would only take a few minutes. A blood test would be more accurate, but would take several days.'  
  
'This will work for now, we can do the blood test if this is unclear.'  
  
Cade turned his back and allowed her to give him the sample needed. She couldn't help but hold her breath as they watched the little strip change color.  
  
'Negative.'  
  
'Thank you. If you need to ask me any questions about the samples, Arthur has the radio, just give me a shout. Is there anything else you'd like?'  
  
'May I see how your back is doing?'  
  
She turned and lifted her shirt, looking at him over her shoulder.  
  
'Well, doc?'  
  
'The laceration was deep enough that even with your rapid healing, it left quite a scar, but otherwise it looks to be in good shape. Thank you. How are you doing mentally?'  
  
'Crazy as I ever was, might have to check that later. Thank you again Cade. Shadow and I should probably get going.'  
  
She surprised the man by giving him a hug before opening the door and wandering back to Arthur's room with Deacon in tow, knocking before opening the door.  
  
'...we can send a team to exterminate the ghouls. There has also been reports of super mutants in the area, shall we take care of those abominations, as well?'  
  
'I certainly hope you're talking about feral ghouls there and not any of my friends. Can I make a deal with you? Feral ghouls and violent super mutants are fair game, along with raiders and gunners, hostile synths. Otherwise ya'll can try to get along like the rest of us. If you have any problems with individuals you contact me or Colonel Garvey and we'll look into it.'  
  
Arthur, Kells, and Danse looked irritated, but Arthur gave a terse nod, pointing a finger at her.  
  
'We shall try that for the time being, but if any of them attack the Brotherhood there will be hell to pay.'  
  
Smiling brilliantly at him before pulling out her bag and grabbing her suit.  
  
'Thank you. That means a lot to me. We should probably get out of your hair and I know we probably have somemore work to do.'  
  
She sat on the couch and started pulling her suit on then braiding her hair but leaving the helmet off, smiling sweetly at Arthur as she slung her bag on.  
  
'Walk us out?'  
  
She watched Danse and Kells exit, motioning to Deacon a little bit so he went out first, taking Arthur's arm.  
  
'Thank you, it was good to see you, I'll try to be back a bit sooner and I'll bring you another bottle. If we hear anything about the assholes, I'll let you know.'  
  
Audra tugged him down, kissing his cheek this time before they wandered to the flight deck. Hopping on the veribird with a wave to Arthur and Danse, heading back down to the airport. Lacing her arm with Deacon's till they were away from the airport.  
  
'I have a sneaking suspicion who the Circle mole may be, how do you feel about snooping around the airport and watching for a few days?'  
  
'Works for me. Sooooo...was he at least a good kisser?'  
  
She laughed and smacked his arm as Deacon made exaggerated kissy noises, yanking him over and planting a good one on him before stopping to pull her helmet out.  
  
_Time to spy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I outlined who I thought would be good as the characters a while back, but I had a change.  
> Originally I had Jake Gyllenhaal for Sturges and Dominic Cooper for Hancock, but after I saw these two I changed them up a bit.
> 
> I totally see Dominic Cooper as Sturges now, it's the hair:  
> <http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdckg0Jzu11qmzknbo1_1280.jpg>
> 
> And then after I saw this gif, Sam Rockwell is now who I envision for Hancock:  
> <https://68.media.tumblr.com/fc0ebe271c7de68aea01f2d389d1e0d3/tumblr_o9t6n5Ma1H1qd1s6no4_400.gif>  
> I could see him and Audra trying to pull off that trick.
> 
> *I'm totally dead right now, if there are any screw-ups I'll try to get them tomorrow.


	3. Falsehood Becomes True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The courser chip is decoded, Audra and Deacon head to the Glowing Sea to speak with Virgil. Deacon tells Audra about his past and how he ended up with the Railroad.  
> They fight over Audra's decision about building the teleporter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because of the relationship between Audra and Deacon, I imagine the whole recall code/I'm a synth conversation was met with a death glare and so Deacon changed it to a more general 'Do Not Trust Anyone' spiel and I imagine the whole founded the Railroad conversation was met with a lot of skepticism and trying to get actual answers out of him, which led to Audra reading the Railroad terminals and formulating her own theories.
> 
> Mods Referenced:  
> (XBOX) Spectacle Island Restored

She dropped the water tin she was holding and winced a little as it clattered loudly on the concrete, pressing down the button on her pipboy to make sure that she actually heard what she thought she had as she picked up the water.  
  
'Repeat.'  
  
'I got that computer part you wanted General, you want to come pick it up?'  
  
'I'll swing by and get it, thank you.'  
  
Deacon took the water out of her shaking hands before she dropped it again. She was one step closer. She yanked her helmet on and broke out in a dead run, the sound of her feet on the pavement quiet compared to the pounding of her heart in her ears. She didn't worry about Deacon, she knew he would follow.  
  
It took about half the time it normally did for her to make it back to HQ from County Crossing. She leant against the wall of the stairway, gasping for air, jumping when she felt Deacon's hand on her shoulder.  
  
'Breathe, Charmer...you're going to hyperventilate...'  
  
_Breathe in...1, 2, 3...exhale...1, 2, 3...Jesus Christ._  
  
She must have looked as scared as she was feeling because he pulled her helmet the rest of the way off and pulled her into a slightly awkward hug. The sound of his heart thumping against her ear slowly calmed her as his heart rate came down. She flashed him a little grateful smile before plastering her face back on, brushing past Drummer Boy before he could speak and cornering Tom. The skittish man froze under the weight of her gaze and held it up like he was hoping she would focus on something other than him.  
  
(It Has Begun - Starset)  
  
'Charmer. Deacon. Next move?'  
  
Audra looked at Dez, then back to the chip. He'd done it, they had a decoded courser chip.  
  
'I return to Virgil and get the plans from him.'  
  
'I'm going with you.'  
  
'No. Last time John came and we almost died. I'll move faster by myself.'  
  
Deacon glared at her behind his glasses and Dez pointed at them.  
  
'You're both going and as soon as you get back, we can discuss the next steps from there.'  
  
'Fuck. Fine. Let's go.'  
  
'Right now?'  
  
'Unless you feel like going in power armour, which I know you hate, then we need to go get the hazmat suits we left at the Switchboard.'  
  
'Agent Charmer, rest tonight, go in the morning. That is not a request.'  
  
For a second she indulged in the violent fantasy of knocking Carrington on his fucking ass and he must have felt the heat of her gaze, flinching before turning to Desdemona.  
  
_Huh._  
  
The sudden revelation that Carrington was looking at Dez with something other than his usual disdain for everything was enough to distract her. Huffing and stomping to the mattress she still had in the shooting range, dropping her bag and quickly changing into some sweats and Arthur's t-shirt, glaring at Carrington as she wandered back over to Tinker Tom.  
  
'Any progress on our other project?'  
  
'Uh...not much. I got a much larger prototype to power up, but if my calculations are correct then it would take like quadruple the current output to be of any real use. Then I need to figure out how to scale everything down while maintaining that output.'

  
She worked with Tom for a couple hours and it felt like every time she turned around, there was someone there watching her, making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Eventually she grabbed one of her guns and a pack of cigarettes and went out to the steeple, chain smoking and wondering if she could sneak away to the loft.  
  
'Not thinking about running away, are you?'  
  
_Of course._  
  
'Hello, _Shadow._ '  
  
She watched him come up the stairs, smirking a little, remembering the last time they were there and from the way his face flushed he was thinking about it too.  
  
Deacon's new nickname was fitting. They'd hung around the airport for a few days and they were fairly certain they knew who the mole was but wanted a little more proof before going back to Arthur with it. Their spying was interrupted when they received the distress call from County Crossing and went to get back the kidnapped settler.  
  
Audra came out of her thoughts when he sat across from her but didn't pull his glasses off. She was about to reach out when he spoke and his voice was so serious it stopped her mid-grab, sitting back and lighting another cigarette before handing him the pack.  
  
'Hey. I got something important to say. I really appreciate you putting up with my bullshit. Truth is it's been a long time since I've had a...friend. I'm a liar. Everyone knows it. I make no secret of it. Because the truth is: I'm a fraud. To my core. A hell of a long time ago, I was...well, scum. I was a bigot. A very violent bigot.'  
  
She couldn't stop the look of surprise on her face and the growing sense of deja vu.  
  
'Were you really that bad?'  
  
'Worse than that. I ran with a gang in University Point after I came out this way. We called ourselves the UP Deathclaws. For kicks we'd terrorize anyone that we thought was a synth.'  
  
He paused and she reached out to grab his hand and encourage him, flinching when he jerked back.  
  
'We kept egging each other on. Started with some property damage graduated to some beat downs. Then, inevitably, a lynching. The Claw's leader was convinced we'd finally found and killed a synth. Looking back, I'm not so sure.'  
  
'I'll withhold judgment until you finish.'  
  
(What Makes A Good Man? - The Heavy)  
  
'Thanks. So I turned my back on my "brothers" - broke all contact. Time passed, I became a farmer, if you can believe that. Then one day I found someone.'  
  
_There it is. Why he's so skittish._  
  
She had wondered for a while now, some of the things he would say, how he would look at certain things...how he would look at her without seeing _her._ She felt bad...selfish...for not seeing it sooner. Stubbing out the cigarette and wrapping her arms around her middle, just listening, trying to keep a neutral expression on her face.  
  
'She saw something in me I didn't know was there. Barbara, well, she was... She just was.'  
  
'She sounds special.'  
  
'Being with her made me feel like the whole world had a chance. That one day we could climb out of this wreckage. She could do that to people. Kinda like someone else I once knew...'  
  
He gave her a kinda sideways grin that was so loaded with emotion she had to look away, sniffling softly before looking back at him. Leaning forward and reaching into his coat pocket, pulling out a spare pair of glasses he had there and popping them on. He grabbed her hand and held onto it tight as they stared at each other, just seeing glasses reflected in glasses.  
  
'We were trying for kids, ekeing out a living. Then one day...It turns out my Barbara...She was a synth. She didn't know that. I certainly didn't. I don't know how the Deathclaws found out. But...there was blood.'  
  
They were going to draw blood, how tight they were holding onto each other, nails digging into flesh.  
  
_Those sons of bitches._  
  
'They killed her. They'd better be dead or they will be soon.'  
  
It wasn't a question, it was a statement and she would happily rip them apart with her bare hands for killing her and hurting him. He looked at her like he knew where her thoughts went.  
  
'I don't remember much clearly after that. I know I killed most of the Claws. I ran away from the Commonwealth for a while, went to DC. Met this doctor that could change faces. Figured that me was finally dead with everything good. I changed my face, talked with the doc a bit...I must've made a big impression. The Railroad contacted me, figuring I'd be sympathetic. Seeing that I lost my wife. And, well, what I did afterward.'  
  
Audra couldn't stop the slight sardonic grin that came, fingering Kellogg's gun on her thigh with her other hand.  
  
'After what happened...I can understand.'  
  
'I thought you might. I don't even know why I lie any more. But I can't tell the truth. Everyone - Tom, Dez, you, even that asshole Carrington - they deserve to be in the Railroad. I don't. I'm everything wrong with this whole fucking Commonwealth. You're the only friend I got. I don't deserve you being OK with this. Hell, I'm not even asking for it. But I figured you should know.'  
  
He moved to pull away and she yanked him back, not breaking the death grip she had on his hand.  
  
'Everyone's got a past. The important thing is you're trying to make up for it. I'm still on your side. You don't remember obviously, but I was with you before...I'm with you now. So is everyone down there and so are the guys...I'm not your only friend.'  
  
He frowned, obviously trying to remember, plastering on one of his cheesy grins.  
  
'I'm not the hugging type. So, yeah. Good talk.'  
  
He tried to pull away again and Audra just yanked him down so he was sitting on her lap, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her forehead against his shoulder. He slowly relaxed and leant into her as she looked down at their hands, the little half moons left by their nails, blinking and holding them up for him to see as the marks started fading rapidly. Raising an eyebrow when he just nodded and shrugged a little. Looking at her and hesitating slightly before asking.  
  
'What happened before...that I can't remember?'  
  
'Not now. That is a very long conversation for another night.'  
  
'Okay.'  
  
She knew he wasn't going to give it up, now that he had it in his head but he was willing to let it go for now. Eventually shifting as her legs went dead, laughing a little and pushing him off.  
  
'Want to get away from here and go to the loft? Dez will be pissed but I would love an actual bed.'  
  
He smiled faintly at the excuse she was giving him to get away, she didn't miss the dampness on his cheeks and she didn't want him to have to force himself to pretend around everyone all night.  
  
'I'll go get our stuff and tell her you got a Minuteman call, but that we'll rest before taking off for the Glowing Sea.'  
  
She smiled and lit another cigarette, calling down to him just before he went through the door.  
  
'Deacon. Thank you for telling me the truth.'  
  
She met him downstairs and they pulled on their suits, sneaking to the loft with ease. Audra let him shower first, making some Blamco Mac and Cheese and leaving a bowl for him by the bed as they switched. There was something about a shower that was just extra amazing when feeling crappy. Going still when she heard the crying, switching the water off and noticing how it went silent. She dried off and pulled Arthur's t-shirt back on and some clean undies, wrapping her hair with the towel and wandering out. Standing in the door frame, looking at him sitting in bed.  
  
'You can cry you know, sometimes it feels better to get it out...I'm gonna say one more thing and then I won't bug you about it anymore tonight. Aidan was a good man, even after everything...in spite of everything. You, Deacon, are a good man too.'  
  
Crawling into bed next to him, chucking his chin lightly.  
  
'I'm in your corner, always have been.'  
  
His face crumpled at the words and Audra held him as he hid against her stomach, crying until he fell asleep.  
  
(Undisclosed Desires - Muse)  
  
-  
  
She was insane.  
  
I mean there wasn't really anything else he could say about it. They'd told him that this escapee scientist had turned himself into a super mutant but it was one thing to hear about it, it was an entirely different thing to be talking with him and looking at him and trying not to snicker at the tiny glasses perched on his giant green face.  
As soon as they reached the cave she pulled her helmet off, despite his protests and marched in, calling out for Virgil. Then, after she updated the scientist with what had happened, Chunk started trying to convince Virgil to come back with them to build the thing and that was when he had to grab her by the elbow and steer her to the entrance so he could properly glare at her.  
  
'Are you nuts? He doesn't need to come, we have Tom for that.'  
  
'I could have Tom build it or Sturges or even Ingram...but I'm not. This device is for me to find my son, if I don't get killed then maybe I'll consider using it to forward an agenda. Hell, you were the one that told me not to trust anyone. This is me not trusting anyone. An independent party will build the platform and it will be used by me and me alone.'  
  
(I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage)  
  
He really wanted to be upset about this but after using his own words against him he couldn't really argue. He stood in the tunnel and glared at one of the turrets for a minute before calming down enough to go back in. Virgil eyed him warily and he flashed the super mutant a grin, which only brought on more grimaces...at least, he thought so, it was kinda hard to tell. He sat down on a random chair, flicking through the only magazine in the place as the two babbled about materials and the like. Paying more attention when they started discussing the where.  
  
'...I have a spot Virgil, it's isolated so you won't be bothered...I mean, besides the mirelurks but I can take care of that just fine.'  
  
'As soon as the Institute finds out, they'll come for me...'  
  
'I'll get you some bodyguards, I don't know if they actually care anymore, now that Kellogg is gone. Oh and I've been thinking about the little pest problem. Sturges has a program he wants me to run to gather information, but I was thinking about whipping something up that would disable that part of their systems. It would only be a temporary solution but it would probably piss them off enough to amuse me.'  
  
'You're insane, willingly antagonizing them.'  
  
Deacon snorted, agreeing with the man and Charmer glared at him. He couldn't stop the eye roll but it didn't hold any real irritation.  
  
-  
  
It took them a few days to get to the edge, they hadn't talked much since his confession besides deciding to stop at Somerville Place for the night before heading for the cave. He was in full swing, playing up his carvaneer act when he left the newly built Minutemen quarters to go to the main house and found Audra sitting on the floor with the kids, reading comics.  
He paused at the doorway and felt something twisting in his gut that he still wasn't ready to face, starting slightly when he heard the steps behind him.  
  
'They love her like family...they miss their mom and ever since the General came to help...she's like family to them. Always bringing them toys and snacks, comics and books...'  
  
'She's a good woman.'  
  
'That she is, care for a brew?'  
  
He sat out on the porch with the farmer and watched the bustling settlement wind down for the evening. It was like that at every settlement she visited...she remembered gifts for people, their names, she helped defend them, rescue them. When they had the time she helped with the crops or building and working on repairs.  
That was one of the things he and Desdemona had always disagreed on...he always thought that they could do more, more for everyone, not just synths...and here Audra was, doing it. The Minutemen handled most of the settlement stuff now, but she still did her part as the General and then some.  
He smiled as she stepped through the door, a hand dropping on to his shoulder.  
  
'The kids are starting to nod off, I told them I'd grab you so you could get them into bed.'  
  
'Thank you, Quinn. You're looking bushed. You and your friend should get some rest...we left the little house open for you.'  
  
'David...I told you, ya'll don't have to do that. I'm fine with the bunkhouse.'  
  
'You're the General, woman, go enjoy the perks.'  
  
They rolled their eyes at each other before Charmer gave the man a passing peck on the cheek and started wandering to the little house built off on the other side of the crops, looking at him over her shoulder. He got up and trailed behind a little slower, entering and looking around the smaller shack.  
There was a bed, a couch, and a small table with two chairs and a radio on it. It wasn't fancy but it was dry, there was electricity, the bedding was clean and it was private.  
  
'It's good to be the Queen.'  
  
It was his turn to earn an eye roll before she started pulling her clothes off, flicking the radio on low and crawling onto the bed in just a sports bra and panties, the room suddenly feeling about ten degrees warmer. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow before letting out a little huff and sliding an arm under the pillow to hug it close as she lay on her side.  
  
'You're welcome to sleep on the couch if it would make you feel more comfortable, though I gotta say I don't understand why it's bothering you at this particular moment and not any of the other times we've slept next to each other. And we need to sleep, it's a shitty walk to get to Virgil's cave and even if we leave early it's going to take some time. Goodnight, Deacon.'  
  
He eventually lay down next to her after her breathing even out and eventually slept himself. It was the soft whimpers that woke him, her arms twitching and reaching out in her sleep.  
  
'No, please, no...'  
  
'Audra, wake up. Audra, please wake up.'  
  
'No...no, please don't take my baby.'  
  
'Audra, honey, come on.'  
  
He shook her gently, hissing as her wild swing clipped his collarbone. Straddling her waist and pinning her shoulders down.  
  
'Audra! Wake up!'  
  
He could see the instant she came back to herself. First pain, then confusion, then anger, all flashing through her eyes at light speed before settling into a tired resignation.  
  
'Hi. You can get off me now.'  
  
'Oh.'  
  
He rubbed at his collarbone as he moved off of her and sat back down. They just sat there in silence for a bit before he looked over at her.  
  
'Do you want to talk about it?'  
  
'No. We're up now, might as well get ready.'  
  
He couldn't help but feel relieved that she didn't want to talk yet. They got dressed and packed up their bags, quietly going to the main house and grabbing some food. He didn't miss the hefty bag of caps she left in one of the cupboards along with two packages of gumdrops.  
  
'You don't need to do that, General.'  
  
'Just in case, for the kids.'  
  
David gave her a short nod and moved to pour himself some coffee, a slightly pinched look on his face. He recognized that, the man was proud...but it was also apparent he would do anything for his children. Tugging Audra into a one armed hug and shaking his hand before they set out.  
  
They paused by the car he had to lay them by last time, pulling their radiation suits on, strapping their weapons on the outside of the suits and stashing their bags in the trunk of the car. Audra pulled out a smaller bag, stuffing some extra ammo and stimpacks and RadAway and something he didn't see inside of it before turning to him.  
  
'Come on, stay close and quiet. Watch your fucking step and don't do anything stupid, okay?'  
  
Deacon wanted make a remark about how much longer he'd been around then she had been and he did not need the pep talk, thank you very much but she'd actually been into Glowing Sea and he'd only ever skirted the edges. He generally tried avoiding it as much as possible, he hated the creepy crawlies from the radiation on his skin. Thankfully the suits they'd grabbed were intact and he didn't have to worry about it all that much, except for the creatures trying to rip their suits and kill them.  
The fucking radscorpions bugged him the most, he could handle ghouls and stingwings and things like that, but radscorpions had always irritated him. She mentioned they were getting close to the cave when he heard it.  
  
'Ahh. Deathclaw.'  
  
'Damn it. Come on, lets get up the slope a little bit and scope things out.'  
  
He followed her as they scrambled up the side of the hill , crouching down by a boulder, seeing the deathclaw down below them.  
  
'Of course the fucker has to be right in the way. We can try sneak arou...shit. Okay, he saw us, plan b.'  
  
Deacon raised his rifle and started taking shots as it started stalking towards them, he could hear Audra digging in her bag.  
  
'I could used a little help here shooting the giant lizard looking to make lunch out of us, you know.'  
  
He just received a grunt for an answer, risking a quick glance at her, eyebrows shooting up as he saw her pull the pin and toss a grenade down the hill. They both watched as it bounced down the slope and exploded right in front of the deathclaw, enough to do some damage but not incapacitate it.  
  
'Okay, how was that supposed to fucking help, now it's just pissed at us!'  
  
Audra gave him a death glare through her helmet and shoved two grenades at him before pulling two out for herself.  
  
'All at once.'  
  
Deacon shook his head, she was insane, but took the grenades and pulled the pins in time with her.  
  
'Care package for you.'  
  
The thing was scrambling against the slope, not able to get purchase right where it was but it looked like it was going to get its footing and close the distance between them when everything exploded, he grabbed Audra's arm and yanked her behind the boulder with him as rocks and dirt and what looked to be bits of deathclaw went flying everywhere.  
After a moment they risked peeking their heads out. The deathclaw was lying on the ground at the bottom of the hill, still squirming slightly, but slowly dying from the trauma of losing both its legs in the explosion. Audra made a little noise and she raised her rifle, putting a couple well placed rounds in its head.  
  
'Another deathclaw down, and another of my 9 lives burned. Yay. I thought you hated grenades.'  
  
'I do, but I don't feel like getting up close and personal with another deathclaw any time soon. You better hope that we don't run into another one, that was all the grenades.'  
  
'At least we're here, let's go meet your super mutant scientist.'  
  
-  
  
'Deacon. SHUT. UP. That's enough, you're acting like a fucking child.'  
  
'I'm acting like a child? That THING is responsible for the super mutants in the Commonwealth!'  
  
Audra got right up in Deacon's face, pushing him back with a frown as he pointed a finger at Virgil. Pushing back on his chest with a huff. They'd made it out of the Glowing Sea and were heading for the site Audra wished to build on, Deacon had been pumping Virgil for information for the Railroad when Virgil told them about his former project.  
  
(Push - Matchbox 20)  
  
'Yes and he has to deal with the burden of guilt for his actions, but he is also trying to make up for it. He's going to help get me to Shaun. So yes, I'm going to help protect him and try help find his cure when I get there, because if I can find it and it works we have a base for a potential cure or at least something that would help. Come on, we'll need to set up camp soon.'  
  
She sighed and turned away from Deacon, motioning to Virgil to keep going, an arm shooting out and blocking Deacon from advancing on the super mutant again when he started to move.  
  
'Are you going to be like this the rest of the way? If you are then you can go back to HQ and tattle to Dez about my choice. I know you're going to no matter what.'  
  
'Because it's a fucking stupid choice. Sure, I played along when you wanted to bring him back, but now you know what he did and you're still taking him?'  
  
'He can help get me to my son.'  
  
'And why would he do that? He's just as likely to blow you up than to get you there.'  
  
'Virgil will not blow me up, because he wants his cure, isn't that right Virgil? And if it works, you're going to try and do what you can to reverse it for others, isn't that right Virgil?'  
  
'Yes, ma'am.'  
  
They stood there and glared at each other for a moment before Deacon grabbed his bag off the ground where he'd dropped it, stopping in front of her.  
  
'Don't do this Charmer, you can't trust him, he's Institute.'  
  
'He can help me get to Shaun.'  
  
'Tom can help you get to Shaun...'  
  
She reached out and rubbed a thumb over his jaw softly, feeling his teeth clenched beneath the skin and the stubble starting to grow there. Sighing softly and pulling her hand back.  
  
'I am taking Virgil to a location to build the transporter. You can come with us or you can go report back to Dez. Like I said before, no one is controlling this transporter but me. If I survive the trip, then we can talk about using it for other purposes.'  
  
'You. Could. Die. At least let me go first or something.'  
  
'And if something bad happened? I wouldn't survive losing you again...'  
  
'And you think I would?'  
  
'It's my son. That is me and Nate's son we're talking about. I am going.'  
  
She knew he wanted to argue more, he wanted to rage and throw things, she could see the tension vibrating through his body as he turned and started walking away.  
  
'You know where to find us or how to get a hold of me...be safe, please Deacon.'  
  
'I'd say the same, but it's not like you listen to me.'  
  
The words were biting and she stood there watching him walk away till he disappeared from sight. She was trying, she was trying to keep it back, taking deep shuddering breaths. When she felt the giant hand rest against her back so carefully she couldn't stop the choked sob that came out.  
  
'I will help you get to your son. You saved my life and have promised to help. I promise I will get you into the Institute. I am sorry about your friend.'  
  
Audra just gave a little nod, taking a few more deep breaths before wiping her face and marching on. They had work to do. One step closer.  
  
(With Or Without You - Keane)  
  
It took several days to get to the water, Virgil helping her clear out Fallon's and then Jamaica Plain as they passed through. The scientist was skittish but he was also super mutant strong now, so he could hold his own when attacked. Then when they got towards University Point, they skirted around the area, looking for a boat to take them out to the island.  
  
She got Virgil set up in the little garage/workshop on the island, putting his bed in the old greenhouse attached to it while she worked on getting power and clearing the island. It took longer than it would have if they had a team there but Audra didn't want deal with anyone freaking out over a super mutant right now, so she worked at clearing the mirelurks herself. Virgil mainly worked in the shop, but helped bury the bodies of the settlers she came across.  
  
It took a week, but she had the island cleared of Mirelurks and had even cleaned up the house there by the workshop. It was amazing that it had survived. It must have been a summer home for one of the rich Boston families and it would make a good bunkhouse for her team.  
She radioed Preston and explained to him the situation on the private channel, smiling at his assurances that he would find a team that would protect the super mutant and bring the supplies needed.  
Two days later she was wandering down to greet the boat at the little dock, letting out a little shriek and taking a flying leap into Sturges' arms. The force of her leap knocked him off balance and the two of them ended up in the water, sputtering and coming up to the laughter of the Minutemen. He was just grinning at her and she knew he wasn't pissed, floating over and kissing softly.  
  
'Hi.'  
  
'Well howdy, sugar. Nice to see you too. Heh heh.'  
  
They came out of the water and Audra explained to everyone again about what they were doing there and that Virgil was on their side before taking them up to meet the super mutant. Virgil was naturally a bit wary, but quickly warmed up to the team. She'd have to thank Preston later, that amazing man. He picked a team that was personable enough to put the super mutant at ease and it made things so much easier from the get go.  
  
Dragging Sturges to the house to get some RadAway and change while the team unloaded the boat of the supplies.  
  
'A couple of them will have to go back, there's probably two more boatloads of supplies I had them bring. Enough for the machine he's building and to get this place set up nice. You okay? You're looking all frowny again.'  
  
'Fought with Deacon again, sent him away to cool off. He wasn't particularly happy about my decision to bring Virgil. Are you upset that I'm not having you build it?'  
  
'No, you do what you need to do to get to your son. I'm all for helping the Minutemen and Preston and you when you're the General, but it's you...Audra, that I support first. I just came to see you and help get the team on their feet. If this Virgil needs my help, then I'll stay, otherwise I'll head home after things are set.'  
  
'I don't tell you enough how amazing you are and how much I love you, you know that?'  
  
'Come here, I missed you.'  
  
Luckily the team was busy enough that they were left alone for a while, stripping their wet clothes off and taking their RadAway before Audra pulled him to the bed she'd built. They were quick and quiet, but as she lay there on the bed in his arms after, she felt like everything was going in the right direction for once.


	4. Forgive Me My Nonsense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Audra and Nick make-up and discover some shared kinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been busy with work, so going a little slower than I would like and I had an outline and everything, then this just came out. Audra missed her toaster hubby. There's going to be plenty of angst in the coming parts, so I hope you forgive me for my sins ;)
> 
> Mods Referenced:  
> Aloot's Home Plate Nexus Port  
> [XB1] Home Plate Exterior Revamped

He tipped his hat up, leaning back against the wall and looking up at her. Nick hadn't seen her in a month and he could tell the dreams were back, her eyes looking dark and hollow. He wasn't sure what she was thinking about, but her brow was furrowed and it was obvious that whatever it was was upsetting her. He stood there for a few more minutes, just taking her in before heading for Home Plate, not sure how she would react to company in her current state.  
  
'Come up, Nicky?'  
  
Her voice was soft but carried as he unlocked the door and entered. She must have gotten in earlier, there was clothing strewn over the bed and the washer was chugging in the background, an eyebrow raising at the empty bottle of rum sitting on the nightstand. Shrugging his jacket off and hanging it up before getting himself a whisky and heading up to join her.  
  
'Hi.'  
  
'Hey there, doll. When did you get in?'  
  
'A couple hours ago. I was gonna go say hi to everyone, but I was too bleh.'  
  
(Hollow Tune - Brick + Mortar)  
  
He grabbed the other chair and drug it over to her side, taking a seat and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, tentatively giving a soft squeeze. If he could breathe he probably would have been holding his breath until he felt her relax and lean into him, she smelled strongly of rum and cigarettes but didn't seem to be overly inebriated. He couldn't stop the slight smile that tugged the corner of his mouth, her head coming to rest on his shoulder as he rubbed her shoulder with his metal hand gently. It was warm enough out now that she'd forgone a jacket, but there was the ripple of gooseflesh on her skin. Pressing a kiss on the top of her head as she drained the glass of rum she had sitting in front of her.  
  
'Want to talk about it?'  
  
'Meh. It's going to take some time before the teleporter is done. Deacon's mad at me. One, for bringing the scientist, Virgil, back to build it. He wanted Tom to do it. Two, he doesn't want me to go through the teleporter, but that's not an option. So he left. Sturges came and helped set up things but since it's going to take a while to build it Sturges went back to Sanctuary. Then there's the fact that Deacon and I are being hunted by a group that worships Roger Maxson as some kind of god. It's likely that they're watching you guys too for associating with me. But I thought I'd come at least say hi...I'm really not trying to avoid you or Mac, I don't want you guys to get caught in the crossfire but I feel like I'm being a shitty...friend...girlfriend...lover...I don't know. What the hell are we anymore?'  
  
'Whatever you would like, Audra. I'm here now and not planning on going anywhere...I already made that mistake once.'  
  
She gave him a little smile and he couldn't help but smile back, making her smile more, making him smile more.  
  
'We probably look like a couple of idjits.'  
  
'It's nice to see you smile.'  
  
'It's good to see you too, Nick.'  
  
She tilted her head up and pressed a soft kiss on his lips and he just wanted to melt into her, staying there a moment after she pulled back, looking down at her. Besides some hugs and soft pecks, they hadn't really been very close since the last time they were here at home and she kissed him. Raising his covered hand to rub his thumb over her jaw lightly.  
  
'Have you eaten?'  
  
'No, I suppose I should. Shall we go inside?'  
  
He stood, offering a hand to help her up, going before her down the ladder in case she was unsteady. Nick pulled her into his arms as she got to the bottom of the ladder, just so incredibly amazed that she was here and letting him.  
  
'Are you okay, Nicholas? Being very cuddly.'  
  
She gave him a teasing smile and he just clung tighter, feeling like his insides would grind to a halt at the sound of her voice, soft and low.  
  
'I missed you too. I'm sorry I haven't been around.'  
  
'Don't have to worry about that, doll. I just want you to take care of yourself and know that we're all here for you. You know as soon as Ellie sees you, she might not let you leave.'  
  
'I know, I promised her last time I'd stick around for a few days and Piper...she already gave me an earful over the radio. I figured I'd hang out, check in and see if you needed help with anything, visit with everyone...make sure those assholes aren't watching you guys here.'  
  
They wandered to the little kitchen area and he stood at the end of the counter while she poked through the cupboards.  
  
'Audra...'  
  
'I'll be okay Nicky...apparently the effects of my time in cryo have yielded some interesting side effects...'  
  
'Audra!'  
  
He reached out as she drew a knife across her hand and then watched in shock as the cut began to knit itself closed slowly. Looking up at her face, confused. She looked tired again and washed the blood off her hands once it was healed, fixing herself a bowl of Sugar Bombs and Brahmin milk before sitting in the booth. He sat down across from her and just stared.  
  
'The blue goo...the medigel. Apparently, that is what they cycled through the cryotubes to keep us fresh. He didn't really get into it, but I guess it was a different process for Deacon. The more I'm exposed to it...the stronger the effects seem to be. Then...there's this green goo. Um...how to put this. Did you know aliens really exist?'  
  
He started to scoff, but at the serious look on her face he just raised an eyebrow.  
  
'I've seen one. The green goo was distilled from his blood has similar effects as the blue goo but where the blue goo is healing, the green is anti-rad. Combined...well...let's just say I'm probably going to have a shelf life as long as you. I have Curie looking at it, some Brotherhood people. Cade...the Brotherhood doctor...he wasn't sure how a baby like Shaun would have reacted to the stuff.'  
  
Nick just sat there and watched her as she ate, processing things a bit, that slightly explained the how regarding Deacon. He didn't understand the medical side of things but the proof was sitting right there before him...and she was going to be around for just as long. He felt guilty for the surge of joy he felt, knowing he wouldn't have to watch her age and fade right away. He stood and got himself another drink, sitting at the computer and lighting a cigarette. She finished off her food and then got herself another drink and moved over, standing between his legs before taking a seat on his lap. He couldn't help but squirm a bit, she was so warm and soft.  
  
'I'm not the same Nicky...I don't know if I'm a good person anymore. Maybe I never was. I hurt that man from the Circle of Steel for information because I had to know if they would hurt you all. Eight months ago I couldn't have done that...but now? I'm a killer, more than that, I'm a _good_ killer.'  
  
'Do you enjoy it?'  
  
'No...sometimes. Not enjoy really, but the satisfaction from it...I stop them, they can't hurt you all, they can't hurt anyone else. But even when I was the Shroud, I tried to give people a chance...'  
  
He stubbed out his cigarette and slid a hand to the back of her head, making her look at him.  
  
'I understand that, I really do, doll. After you helped me with Winter...the world is a different place than it was before. Deadly, harsh in a way that it wasn't before. Before it was like a pot about to bubble over. Jenny, the war...splashes spilling out into the world...now it's more in your face, spilled over onto everything and burnt in. As long as you don't start going out and doing it for fun, we do what we have to do to make it better place for the future. It's probably not going to happen for this generation, it might not even happen for the next three...but we can try.'  
  
Audra pulled his hat off and pressed her forehead against his with a soft sigh.  
  
'I asked Nate once if he remembered the people he'd killed and he said he wished he could say that he did but that he couldn't anymore. I don't remember...I don't remember anymore but I dream of them. I see their faces when I dream.'  
  
'I used to too, back when I still dreamed.'  
  
Audra smiled at him tenderly and he felt self conscious under the weight of her gaze.  
  
'What, I got something on my face?'  
  
'You said I, not Nick...you have no idea how happy that makes me.'  
  
He got all flustered then had a hard time thinking at all when her lips pressed against his again, her body melting into his. She must have put her glass down because the next thing he knew, her arms were wrapped around his neck and her legs around his waist and he couldn't stop his excitement, grinding up against her with a little moan. She felt different, stronger, leaner, but she was still so soft and small. He broke the kiss, massaging the back of her neck softly and nuzzling at her cheek.  
  
'Are you sure you want this, doll? I want to make sure you don't have any doubts, after everything.'  
  
'I have a lot of different doubts but never about wanting you. Never about how I care about you. What about you? You didn't really answer last time I asked you if you could handle the fact that I have multiple lovers.'  
  
'I'll be honest, it still kinda gets to me if I think about it too hard, but it's not the knee jerk reaction it was before. I see how you are with them. You care for each person on their own, it doesn't affect the others and that helps. Also since I've spent some time with them, we're civil at least, mostly friendly. All I know is that the time without you hurt a lot more than the jealousy.'  
  
She smiled at him and it was such a soft, sweet smile that it made his mechanical heart ache, pressing a soft kiss along her jaw as she spoke.  
  
'I'm sorry it bothers you. I don't want to do anything to hurt you like that, if it does start bothering you too much, let me know? I want you to be happy too, we just need to make sure that we keep talking...this is all new to me too. I was with Aidan and Nate, but it wasn't like it is now. I always worry that I'm going to hurt you guys...it's not exactly like my life is very simple right now and I worry that I am not being fair in my attention when I have to run around all the time and do stuff.'  
  
'Hey, your son comes first and you're doing what you need to do to get Shaun back and that is more important than any of us. I think we would all agree on that. You do what you need to do and like you said, just keep talking with us...please? We were worried when you disappeared...did Deacon tell you about what happened in that time? Did you guys talk about what you told him?'  
  
'You know? No, not really. We kinda got distracted by the Circle guys trying to kill us. And I think we're both waiting for the other one to bring it up. Did he tell you?'  
  
'I saw the photo, he cried out and dropped it, I came in to see what was up...then I helped get him into bed and stayed with him since he was so upset and drunk. If he has the same kinda healing that you do, he must have had to drink one hell of a lot to get him in the state he was. I've noticed it takes you a lot more too now. Why didn't you tell anyone?'  
  
Audra sighed and slid off his lap, moving over to pour herself a whisky and knocking it back before pouring another, dragging a chair over, resting her legs across his lap as she lit a cigarette.  
  
'Not exactly the easiest conversation to have. For a while, Roger was the only one that knew. Nate was working through his physical therapy and depression, we weren't really talking. Da was extremely depressed, losing one of the men he called son...I wasn't going to tell any of them originally, not until I felt like things were a bit better, but my depression got so bad I ended up bawling on the phone to Gov while I was in the hospital and he came and stayed with me for a couple weeks.'  
  
Audra snorted and then took a long drag, watching the smoke curl towards the ceiling. He lit a cigarette for himself and idly rubbed his covered hand over a leg while he listened to the story.  
  
'Susan, his wife, thought that we were having an affair. So she called my father and yelled at him, so then Da showed up and yelled at us, then I ran away and Rog told Da what happened. Did you know that little shithole bar that was by Andrew station, I know it was popular with some of the detectives? Yeah, I just went there and spent two days getting trashed. I knew the bartender, so he just let me sleep it off in the office. Then when I went back to my apartment...I thought Da would be mad at me and when he just scooped me up and held me, I lost it again. They packed me up and brought me back to Modesto with them. Susan was never the same towards me after that. Gov said something to her and she started being civil again after a while, but I don't think she ever believed that we didn't do anything. I stayed a few weeks but the house reminded me too much of Aidan, so I came back to Boston. I supported myself through cards for a little while, drinking way too much, sleeping the days away. One day in November I went down to that little park over by Ticonderoga. I sat on that bench for a good four hours and was maybe a few minutes away from just giving up and throwing myself in the river when Nate happened to walk by.'  
  
She paused to wipe her eyes and grab another drink, lacing her fingers with his and taking a few deep breaths before continuing.  
  
'If Nate hadn't shown up, I probably would have gone ahead and killed myself. I never told him that part...how he saved me that day. I eventually told him everything else after a few months and he was irritated at me for a few days, mad that I hadn't called him sooner so he could be there with me. Then now...how was I supposed to tell you guys that? Especially with what has happened to Shaun...I already feel like I should have world's worst mother tattooed on my forehead or something...'  
  
'Hey, none of that is your fault, do you understand me? Horrible things have happened to you, but that is not your fault. You are doing all you can and you are strong and amazing and we're lucky to have you in our lives here and now. We're gonna get Shaun back and you're gonna be an amazing mother...I mean, just look at how you take care of us and spoil Dogmeat.'  
  
She gave him a sad little smile and he just stood and scooped her up in his arms. He deposited her on the bed and moved the clothes onto a chair before turning around and looking at her.  
Her hair was longer, she must have taken a shower when she got home, the ends curling. She was wearing a Mistress of Mystery t-shirt some sweatpants. Rolling around so her head was at the foot of the bed, staring up at him. Her eyes were sad but clear, her gaze heavy on him. Nick didn't know how she did that, a singular ability to look at someone and make them feel like they were the only other person in existence. And even then, if someone else was about they never really felt neglected that he could tell. Even with that seemingly laser focus, she kept everyone else in her periphery.  
He started for her and had just reached the foot of the bed when he heard the key in the lock, trying not to give a huff of indignation. Audra must of recognized it anyway because she smirked at him and turned to the door as Ellie and Ellie stumbled in.  
  
'Nicholas, don't mind us, Ellie just wanted to leave some stuff to surprise...Audra!'  
  
He couldn't stop the laugh as the two obviously tipsy women piled onto the bed and tackled their friend. He gave Audra a wink and made his way downstairs, listening to the ladies giggle and speak in rushed sentences. He wandered over and turned his attention to the produce growing, tending to it more to keep himself occupied than a need for it. With Audra being gone so much and Nick usually not thinking about it, Ellie hired Nat to swing by once a week or every other week to water the plants, gather and sell any produce that was going unused. He pretended not to notice the pouch of caps delivered by a Minuteman every other week, knowing Audra just wanted to take care of them. A bit later Nick heard the door close and wandered up, peeking around to see if everyone was still there.  
  
'They decided to go have some more at the Dugout, they wanted me to come, but not feeling up to other people tonight. At this point I just want you around. Will you hold me, please?'  
  
'Of course...you look beautiful.'  
  
Nick couldn't stop the pause when his gaze landed on her. One of the ladies had braided her hair, leaving the back loose so it flowed over her shoulders. He'd have to thank other Ellie at some point for her amazing skills. Audra was lying back against the pillows, but instead of what she had been wearing earlier, it'd been replaced with a tank top and shorts pyjama set. It was a kind of faded rose color with the tiniest of lace trimmings. He grinned when she flushed and moved to her side of the bed, looking at him expectantly. He made sure the door was locked before stripping down to the boxers he wore lying down on the bed and gathering her close.  
  
'Ellie spoils me, there's some other stuff for later too. Do you still want....want to?  
  
'Huh? Oh, we have time for that later, love. You look tired, how about you sleep now and we see how you feel in the morning.'  
  
'I suppose...hey Nick?'  
  
'Yeah, doll?'  
  
'I love you. Thank you for talking with me.'  
  
'I love you too, Audra. Thank you for not giving up on me.'  
  
-  
  
Nick came out of his diagnostics, feeling Audra squirm against him. Everything snapping back into focus as she rolled over and snored softly, rolling on to his side, propping his head up with an arm as he looked at her. He couldn't stop the small smile, once again amazed that she was here with him. It was interesting, thinking about each of the times they were apart and how different she was each time she came back.  
Leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss on her bare shoulder, grinning at the soft purr she let out, blinking sleepily as she rolled to face him.  
  
'Mmmmm, good morning Nicholas.'  
  
'Good morning, Audra...sorry, didn't mean to wake you.'  
  
'S'okay, happy to see you.'  
  
She was making the sweetest little sounds, still waking up, but letting out soft whimpers as she rolled over on top of him. His hands dropped to her hips automatically, nipping her lower lip as she rolled her hips against him. He wanted to keep in the sweet mood of the morning but was rapidly getting heated after so long apart.  
  
(Coffee - Miguel)  
  
He could smell her desire and it just made him harder, her own natural scent combined with the sweetness of her soap and moisturizer. Fingers digging into her hips as he thrust up, groaning softly. Her nails were digging into his chest panel and he could see her firm nipples through the thin fabric of the tank top, leaning up enough to catch one in his mouth. Nipping at her through the fabric, teeth tugging at the ring.  
  
'Ohhh...Jesus, Nicky...mmmm missed you.'  
  
'Missed you too, doll.'  
  
He forced himself to slow down, letting go of her hips and sliding his covered hand into her hair, his metal hand tracing swirls on her back as he kissed along her jaw. Her breathing was ragged in his ears, fingers curling around his arms as she leaned into the kisses. His metal hand moved to lightly trace along the scar down her back as he pressed his forehead to hers, nuzzling softly. He got lost momentarily when she opened her eyes, the light from the bedside table making them sparkle like smoky quartz, letting go of her hair to run his thumb over her lower lip softly. He couldn't tear his gaze away when she took his thumb into her mouth and sucked it softly, keeping her eyes locked on his as she did so. Warm little hands reaching between them and pressing against the front of his boxers, palm rubbing against his length.  
  
He grabbed her wrists, pulling them behind her back a little roughly, pausing uncertainly until she gave a little nod, shuddering against him. He pinned them to her back, just this side of uncomfortable as he kissed her in earnest, trying to convey every bit of love and desire, worry and frustration he'd been feeling.  
  
'Tell me if it is too much.'  
  
'I don't break that easy, Nick...especially now.'  
  
She bit his lower lip and rocked against him with a soft whine. Audra was amazing, under his control but fully in control. He knew he could actually over power her if he wanted but it was a gift, an illusion of control that he held over her and it felt amazing. Nick let go of her wrists and held onto her shoulders as he swung them around, dropping her to her back as he settled himself between her thighs, body lying over hers carefully so he didn't crush her. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he groaned again, grinding against her as he yanked the tank top up so he could look down at her. He moved up onto his knees and pulled her shorts off, not wanting to damage her new clothing, taking the time to rid himself of his boxers.  
He knelt between her legs again, trying to decide what to do when he caught sight of his clothing on the floor, reaching down and grabbing his tie. The flash of desire and amusement in her eyes had him grinning, leaning down and kissing her deeply as he secured her hands to the headboard. She'd be able to get out if she really needed to, but it was tight enough that she could feel it and the way she shuddered beneath him had him eager for more. Pulling back and looking down at her, chest already heaving, eyes full of heat, planting her feet on the bed and rolling her hips at him.  
He wanted more, he wanted everything, but as soon as he felt her warmth pressing against his hardness he was sliding deep into her. Pausing a moment once he was buried to the hilt, giving her a soft kiss. Her breathy please had him groaning and kneeling up, holding her hips as he rocked against her hard and fast.  
Nick wondered if they would calm down someday or if it would always be this frantic desperate need for each other the first time each time they were together. Pushing at her knees so she was splayed wide for him, looking down and watching as he disappeared inch by inch. It was too much, too much as he looked up at her face and groaned, stilling as his mind ran away.  
  
_How did we ever get to this point, how did I deserve this. She's too much, it's too much, would she ever say no? Would I keep pushing?_  
  
'Hey. Hey, Nicky...look at me, my love. Hey...hi there. Talk to me darling, where did you go there?'  
  
'It's...so much...you're so much. So willing to do this...is it too much? I never...I used to imagine, but I never.'  
  
'Hey, it's not too much. I would tell you if it was, we have not done anything I have not been okay with so far. We don't have to do this right now if it is too much love, hey, look at me.'  
  
He looked down, still holding her hips, fingers digging firmly into her flesh. Her arms were still above her head but she was so calm, looking at him with all that love and he leant down and just kissed her over and over.  
  
'Love you, so much. So amazing...how are you real? How did we get here, Jesus, doll!'  
  
He must have moved in a way that got her because she suddenly clamped down around him and it was so hot and tight.  
  
'FUCK, yes, Nick! Please, please, please move...ohhh god I need more, please? See what you do to me, love? Feel how excited, how wet I am for you? I want to give you what you want, I want to fulfill all your desires love.'  
  
He looked at her again and there was no fear, no hesitation, no concern...just love and desire. For him. He snapped his hips hard enough to hear the sound of his thighs slapping against hers, groaning as she started whimpering sweetly.  
  
'Again, please!'  
  
He did it again and again as she asked for it lifting her legs and holding onto her ankles as he took Audra, his lover, the love of his life. He didn't know how long they went, it could have been minutes or hours but his panels were slick and dripping from where she'd come all over him multiple times already, reaching up and releasing her hands. She leaned up and kissed him passionately before pushing him back, turning around so she was on her knees before him, looking over her shoulder. Nick slid off the bed and stood, standing at the edge and pulling her hips to him. It didn't matter if it was the first or the fiftieth time that first moment as he entered her drove him crazy, growling and grabbing her by her hair and tugging her up roughly, lifting and holding her in place as his hips drove them.  
  
'Around...around my throat, Nick? Not too tight, just a little...'  
  
He lost his rhythm as he groaning and rearranged his arms, debating a moment before moving his covered arm around her waist, moving his metal hand to her neck and stroking it carefully.  
  
'Is this what you want or my other hand?'  
  
'Either, just want you...I trust you, Nick.'  
  
And that was the biggest kicker, even after everything, she trusted him. Turning her head to give her a soft kiss.  
  
'I love you.'  
  
'Love you too...'  
  
The last bit of her words were slightly cut off as he nuzzled her ear and began to press his hand to her throat softly. Voice just a soft rumble.  
  
'Tap out if you need to stop, tell me you understand.'  
  
(In + Out - dvsn)  
  
He let go enough to hear her assent before pressing again, thinking they were both crazy but he didn't want to stop and if one could believe it, she was even wetter than before, dripping and fluttering around him with each squeeze. He held her there, just shy of too tight and started pumping his hips again, wondering how it felt for her. Was her head swimming, her heart loud in her ears, her skin tingling, just a mess of sensation. It popped into his head and he couldn't stop the thought, the wish that he was still flesh and blood so he could feel it too. His fans sounded over worked, whirring loud and fast, crying out as his vision went dark, jerking against her.  
  
Nick came back to her whimpers, his hand having fallen from her neck, Audra squirming and rocking. He snapped his hips suddenly, showing her he was back and she screamed. She fell forward onto her hands and knees and he drove her over twice more, once more for himself before she collapsed face first into the bed. He rolled her over carefully and sat down next to her, pushing the sweaty hair from her face, her eyes were unfocused as she reached for his hand. Her blissed out expression gave him an immense surge of satisfaction, leaning down to kiss her softly.  
  
'You okay doll?'  
  
Her voice cracked just a little and he thought he should feel guilty about that but it just turned him on, stroking her softly as she came down.  
  
'Peachy keen jellybean.'  
  
He couldn't stop the chuckle, scooping her up carefully and heading for the bathroom.  
  
'Let's get you rinsed off and dressed before you catch a chill.'  
  
'Mm sounds good...thank you for indulging my kink.'  
  
'Thank you for trusting me and letting me learn mine.'  
  
Her soft chuckle was the stuff dreams were made of and he would hang onto that forever.  
  
-  
  
She was ready to sleep for a week after that, she never would have believed before that Nick would be so accepting of her inner freak or that he would allow his kinks to come out and play and she was going to happily help him explore. She'd wondered after the last time they had been together but this morning was just confirmation, Nicky loved a little bit of force. Audra wondered if her new ability to heal was a contributing factor, he didn't ask if he was hurting her like he would have before.  
After the quick rinse off Nick helped her get back into the sweats and t-shirt she had been wearing before, lying on the bed, dozing as he moved to make her some breakfast. She kept blinking in and out of focus, but had to giggle when he started to make her an omelette.  
  
'Such a bachelor and a darling...'  
  
'Hmmm? What was that, doll?'  
  
'I love you.'  
  
'Love you too.'  
  
She smiled sleepily, one eye cracking open as they heard the thump of the hatch upstairs.  
  
'Honey, I'm home. Ooh! Just in time for breakfast.'  
  
'You do realize you could just use the door like a normal person would, right?'  
  
An eyebrow raised as Deacon came down stairs and Nick just kept cooking like it was a common occurrence and she had to wonder what happened with the two of them while she was gone. She saw his nostrils flare, obviously realising what had just happened, smirking at her lying there in bed. He tipped his glasses down, an eyebrow raising and she followed his gaze, smirking in return when she saw the tie still there on the headboard. She stretched and made a little show of revealing the rapidly fading bruises on her wrists, when he saw the bruises on her neck he let out a ragged breath, plastering on a shit eating grin.  
  
'Nick, you sly dog, if I realised you had some kinks I would have tried to seduce you ages ago.'  
  
Oh man, if synths could blush, Nick would have been burning standing there holding a frying pan looking like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Deacon wandered over to the bed and nudged her over, stretching out by her, pulling the tie off the headboard and looping it around his wrists. She looked back and forth between them and filed that away for something to explore later, both the men looking a bit aroused but guarded. Leaning into Deacon, smiling a little when he reached over her head, hands still bound so she was in the circle of his arms.  
  
'Still mad at me?'  
  
'Yes, but that's not why I'm here...you know that little inquiry your adorable little nanny-bot had? Well, Amari thinks she's found a suitable candidate. She asked us our feelings on it and we all agreed that it would be a worthy endeavor, but you need to speak with the caretaker for confirmation. Dez also offered assistance in letting her stay at HQ while she learns the ropes, she figures Tom might be able to help. Don't tell her I told you this, but she knew G5 before the wipe, I think she just wants to know that something good came of it.'  
  
She looked up at Deacon and she couldn't see his eyes, sighing softly at him still being mad before relaxing and just resting her head against his chest with a yawn.  
  
'Breakfast and nap, then I can go get Curie. Should be in Goodneighbor by tomorrow. Damn, Ellie's and Piper are gonna be mad at me for running away before we could have a girls night...maybe after. What's your plan? And you Nick?'  
  
'I'm going with you, doll.'  
  
She smiled at him as he wandered over setting a plate on the nightstand for her, looking startled when she grabbed his shirt front and pulled him down for a quick kiss, things slightly awkward since she was still in Deacon's arms. She flushed but just smiled at them, ducking out of Deacon's arms to grab the plate while Nick wandered to the kitchen and came back with a plate for Deacon. He ate a few bites before speaking, looking at them cautiously.  
  
'I, uh, was figuring I'd come with...there was another one, just outside the city. They probably wouldn't be very accepting of what we plan on doing...'  
  
Audra couldn't stop the growl that bubbled up, making both men jump slightly.  
  
'I am getting so sick of this shit when I find this Cole he's going to fucking regret ever coming to the Commonwealth.'  
  
She was breathing hard through her nose, glaring at the bedspread, trying to calm down as she felt Deacon on one side and Nick moving to sit on the other. Someone took the plate from her hands and she took a shuddering breath, trying to stop the panic rising, but she couldn't. She was too weak. It was too much. She was hopeless.  
It started with the shaking and turned into small sobs and soon she was pressed between the two of them, crying into Deacon's shirt.  
  
'Why can't they just leave us alone??'  
  
She missed the concerned glance they shared over her head, lost in her own thoughts. She was just so tired, every time it felt like things were all right, something had to drag her back kicking and screaming.  
  
Audra woke several hours later, still pressed between the two of them and she sighed softly, embarrassed for getting so emotional. Even more so when she looked up and they were both awake and looking at her.  
  
'You okay, Chunk?'  
  
'Headache. Sorry for crying on you. I suppose we should get packed up and go.'  
  
'You want to eat something? Your plate got cold but I could fix you something else.'  
  
'Not hungry...'  
  
Nick made a small noise of irritation and she rolled to face him, sliding her arms around his waist and holding tight.  
  
'Okay, okay...I'll get some noodles on the way out, okay?'  
  
'Okay. Just watching out for you, Audra.'  
  
'I know, thank you.'  
  
She just wanted to stay right here, Nick was warm and a solid strength keeping her from crying again. The only thing that would have been better is if the others were here and Shaun.  
  
_Oh my baby...soon baby, momma's coming._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who am I kidding, I love those kinky idiots and I'm glad Nick and Audra aren't fighting anymore.


	5. To Do and Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon questions Audra about bringing Strong with them.  
> The Circle gets more aggressive, leaving the team to plot their next steps.  
> Audra is confused but their last meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyyyyyyy. I'm alive...ish. I am sorry I am getting slower updating, but I rewrote this chapter three times before I got it to a place that I liked it. We're rapidly approaching the big Institute intro and there's just so much I want to jam in between now and then that I keep having to edit.  
> <3  
> That and I kinda had to beat Destiny 2 really quick but I finished the campaign, so I'm hoping to be less distracted now. ;)
> 
> I'm also hoping to get a bunch of screenshots up from my run through with Audra soon so you can see how she looks and how I have some of the settlements set up, I just haven't had a chance to get them taken and up on Tumblr yet.

'You have got to be fucking kidding me...please tell me you're joking?'  
  
'Why did you even bother coming if you're just going to constantly bitch about all of my decisions? I want to take him to meet Virgil and see if the serum would benefit him, as well but I need to go to Sanctuary first and get some parts from Sturges...come on, let's just go.'  
  
He waited until the super mutant went first, following with a hand on his pistol in case this Strong got any ideas. Frowning because Audra and Nick seemed so blase about the whole thing but her reasoning made sense, he just had to admit the whole thing made him nervous. Why would a super mutant want to travel with a human, what the hell was with all the milk of human kindness shit that he fixated on, why that? He was never going to be able to look at Macbeth the same.  
  
It had been an interesting several days, getting Curie her new body and getting her settled in at HQ. She was utterly adorable and Audra mothered her like crazy till Dez got annoyed and told them to leave. They had just set out when they heard the radio transmission and Audra wanted to check it out. I mean, he was all for saving the dude, death by super mutant is a horrible way to go but then they had to save Strong, as well.  
It stung that she was so irritated with him but he was irritated too, she seemed to act without regard for her own safety most of the time but it was mainly because he'd already had to deal with two of Cole's men that morning, which meant they likely knew about HQ or at least had an idea of the location.  
  
Nick gave him a pointed look and motioned to Audra then started walking with Strong, steering the super mutant away slightly. Even without knowing what was up, sometime during their travels together looking for Audra Nick had started getting good at reading him and he didn't know how to feel about that. Deacon couldn't help but roll his eyes a little but he wandered over to her side, grabbing her elbow gently.  
  
'Charmer, can I talk to you for a moment?'  
  
At first, she looked slightly irritated but as soon as she looked up at his face she started looking concerned, reaching down and lacing her fingers with his and again he didn't know how to feel about being so easily read, nearly jerking his hand back instinctively. Then again, she'd almost always been able to read him, even before from what he remembered.  
  
'What's wrong? You've been irritated.'  
  
'You keep running headfirst into things and I don't want you to get hurt!'  
  
They both were surprised by his sudden outburst, he hadn't meant to say that, frowning and waving a hand.  
  
'That's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I had to take care of two more of Cole's guys after we left HQ...we need to deal with them soon. They're gonna find HQ eventually and we've been lucky so far but all they need is one good shot at one of us. We're tougher than normal and can heal but I don't really care to test the limits. I've survived a shot to the head and I know of at least one other that has, but she lost her memory...'  
  
'Wait, how many people are there?'  
  
'Like you? Just you that I know of and Shaun. Like me? At one point there were 76 of us, but I know at least half that are gone now. Cole has at least three of the guys on his side...the rest of us mostly scattered.'  
  
'Why so willing to share this now?'  
  
'I just want you to understand how serious it is, if we run into Cole or the others then we'll need to make sure they stay down. I thought he was dead once before but apparently not.'  
  
He looked at her, all serious and almost got pissed when she started to make a face.  
  
'So, what you're telling me is that we need to go with vampire protocol for anyone like us?'  
  
Deacon blinked at her barely contained amusement, snickering softly and soon they were hanging off of each other laughing until they were breathless. Nick looked back at them and just rolled his eyes, moving on with Strong.  
  
'God, we have weird lives.'  
  
'Whaddaya expect from some pre-war relics, one who is a synth, that are currently traveling with a super mutant? Oh and let's not forget about the crazy cultists who want to kill us, the super-secret-sci-fi-organization that makes synthetic humans, my ragtag bunch straight out of the history books, and all the other crazy mutated stuff in this world.'  
  
She smiled at him and it was sweet but with an edge of pain and without thinking Deacon grabbed her and pulled her into the shadow of the nearest building, away from prying eyes as he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her briefly. He hated the ever present pain in her eyes and he wished there was more that they could do about it. Audra pressed herself against his chest and hung on to the flannel shirt he was wearing over his stealth suit, sighing softly and catching him in another soft kiss before pulling back a little, leaning against the wall.  
  
'I do take it seriously and I'm not trying to throw myself into danger but I will do what I need to do to get to Shaun and protect you all.'  
  
'You don't have to protect us all, most of us are perfectly capable...'  
  
'I know, but that isn't going to stop me from trying, you know that.  
  
She huffed and tried to pull away but he just backed her against the wall, frowning down at her before pulling back.  
  
'Yeah, but maybe we want to protect you too...think of all of us and how we would feel if something were to happen to you.'  
  
They heard someone approaching and he stepped back, putting some space between them and reaching for his switchblade. Charmer cocked her head to the side then relaxed slightly, speaking before the person rounded the corner of the building.  
  
'It's just Nick, come on, we still have a bit of a walk ahead of us. Then I'm going to have to explain to Preston about Strong and hope no one freaks out. Marcy is probably going to shit bricks.'  
  
Nick stood there, looking between them before offering a hand to her. Deacon stayed there a moment, watching her slide her hand into Nick's and press against his side, wondering how the heck she had known it was Nick.  
  
Deacon stayed mostly quiet the rest of the way back to Sanctuary, watching her intently, beginning to realize how much she took in and the little things she did. Her eyes were constantly darting around, nose twitching, tilting her head to listen to the sounds around them. At one point he tried to come up behind her while in stealth, jumping when she spun around to face him, grumbling at him to quit goofing off. Or how she stayed on Nick's left side, in case they needed to draw their weapons. Things like that that most people were too distracted to think about.  
He could see she'd also been picking up ticks from all of them. She would rub the back of her neck like Nick when she was thinking or embarrassed. She would rock back and forth on her feet like he did. She would twitch her trigger finger like Mac. When they were standing around she would twirl a knife like Hancock. Tug at her hair like Piper. Rub her thumb over her lower lip like Sturges. Hell, even the way she cocked her head when she was listening made him think of Dogmeat. But then, when they were facing a threat, she was either a blur of motion or deathly still and that was all her.  
  
_What have you turned into?_  
  
His forehead scrunched up, trying to think of before. She had always been a handful but now she was a goddamn law unto herself. She was sharper, faster, stronger than she had been after waking...more than any of the Hangdogs. Her joke about vampire protocol had them laughing earlier but it also got him wondering about how much they could actually take...how much she could take. She should have been dead several times over, getting shot right out of the gates, the molerat disease, the deathclaw cut combined with the radiation and that was just the stuff he knew about but instead she survived. More than survived, it felt like the more time went on, the stronger she became.  
  
If it wasn't for the crippling emotional and mental trauma she'd suffered, he'd almost say the apocalypse had been good to her but instead there was a shadow in her eyes that had never been there before and an emptiness that might not ever be filled. He'd been thinking about that a lot recently, worrying, what if Shaun wasn't there when she made it to the Institute? What if her son was well and truly gone, would she be able to recover from that? Emotionally, she was the strongest person he'd ever known and he was worried what would happen if she were to finally break. After Barbara...he tore the Deathclaws apart, some quite literally and he hadn't been sure he would ever recover from that. Audra...she was considerably deadlier than he was at this point and he shuddered to think of that skill if it were to come behind the blind rage. There would be death and destruction and in the end, there might be nothing of her left but that anger.  
  
The smile she had for Sturges when they came around the bend to Red Rocket was almost more than the pain and after MacCready appeared and she had the same smile for him, Deacon realized that they were almost enough. All of them, her guys. It was only when she looked at him that even when she smiled the pain never really went away and that made him angry and hurt, not knowing what was expected of him.  
  
'Hey, have you seen Audra?'  
  
'Huh?'  
  
He came out of his thoughts to see a frowning Bullseye wandering into the house with his hands in his pockets, looking like a petulant teenager.  
  
'Have you seen Audra? She went to go clean up and uhhh...and I was hoping to find her in the bath, but she was already gone.'  
  
He couldn't stop the little chuckle, grinning at Mac's eagerness, hopping up and patting the younger man on the shoulder.  
  
'I have not, everything okay?'  
  
Bullseye eyed him with suspicion but nodded a little.  
  
'I think so, I just missed her...I dunno, she was acting kinda down when I talked to her before, has she been okay?'  
  
'Has she told you about the Circle?'  
  
'No, what's that?'  
  
Deacon sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, leaning against the kitchen wall and lighting a cigarette.  
  
'Brotherhood splinter faction, the Circle of Steel...even bigger dicks. Audra and I...and potentially all of you guys by association are currently on their hit list. They've been following us for months and we've had to take care of several of them, two this morning...'  
  
'What the h...heck? Why the heck would they be after you? And months?? Why am I just hearing about this now?'  
  
'They worship Roger Maxson as some kind of god and we are blasphemers for saying we knew him. I used to know the guy that is their head honcho right now so he knows a bit about old me....he used to be all right, then he got crazy as fuck. I thought he was dead for a long time, but apparently not. I had been keeping them off of Audra but she ran into one of the guys not too long ago and asked me about it, I guess she's taken care of several of them recently. They're getting bolder, coming after us more often but I don't think they ever realized how difficult we are to kill and how deadly Chunk is...'  
  
'So there are guys out there that want to kill you and we don't know where Audra is???'  
  
'She can take care of herself, but let's go look for her and make sure she's all right, okay?'  
  
Mac just huffed at him and stomped out the door, stopping Nick when they saw him heading for the market house and telling him what was up. Mac went to the offices, Nick went to check Red Rocket and Deacon decided to check the vault. He heard her before he saw her, following the soft humming. She spoke before he stepped into her field of vision and he wondered how long she'd known he was there.  
  
'You know it is complete crap that it is so much harder to get drunk now. Does that ever go away?'  
  
Deacon sat on the steps of the little control building, looking at her there in the corner, knees tucked to her chest as she nursed a bottle of Bobrov's, eyes dropping to the gun sitting on the floor at her side.  
  
'Maybe? You seem to have a higher rate of healing but I know if I don't drink for a while it affects me more but it never fully goes away...Mac was worried about you, I told him about the Circle. He thought maybe they'd taken you.'  
  
'Not likely, maybe if I let them. I'm kinda tempted to, would save me from having to hunt down Cole.'  
  
(Tired - Stone Sour)  
  
'Don't even think about it...the things they would do to you...just...no. Please?'  
  
She looked at him long and hard and the next words were so soft he almost thought he imagined them if it weren't for his heartbreaking.  
  
'Anything for you.'  
  
'Why don't we head down and go let Mac know you're okay before he blows a gasket?'  
  
He jumped up, feeling too emotional, if he sat there he knew he'd start asking her questions that he wasn't sure he was ready to hear the answers for. Taking a step and frowning when she just stayed balled up.  
  
'Charmer?'  
  
'Can you go tell him I'm okay? I'll be down in just a little bit...I just...I want to finish this and be alone for a few more minutes...please?'  
  
'Sure thing, boss. If you're longer than an hour, I'm coming back up and lugging you down caveman style.'  
  
He grinned at the little smile that pulled from her and started shuffling back down the hill, feeling a little bit better.  
  
Deacon was just about to cross the little footbridge when he heard the shot from up on the hill and worry began to choke him. He was running without thinking about it, his own pistol drawn, hoping that it was just a stray mutt or something, anything...not...not her.  
  
'AUDRA!'  
  
She was kneeling on the elevator platform and there were two bodies lying next to her. One was obviously shot in the head and the other had the broken bottle of Bobrov's shoved in his face. Audra looked up as he approached and just began to shake, waving her arm and gesturing with her gun wildly. He had to force himself to breathe, she was covered in blood and he couldn't determine if any was hers.  
  
'They heard us. They were going to take us. I said no...they didn't like that. I heard them after you walked away and they were standing here.'  
  
He went to move closer to her but she just tensed up waving the gun some more, shoving at the body with the bottle lodged in him.  
  
'He said...he said that he was going to hurt the others. He said that we tainted them...he said I was evil...I wasn't thinking. I just...I didn't want him to hurt them and I...oh fuck...I broke the bottle and jumped on him, then shot the other guy when he moved for me....oh god...oh god...Aidan, the way he said they were going to hurt them...the look in his eyes...he wanted to do it...I didn't want. I didn't want to...oh god.'  
  
It was hard to make out what she was saying, she was talking so fast and he slowly crouched down and inched forward towards her. He was about to reach out when they heard the sound and he tensed up as she spun around on her knees and raised her weapon, staring down the sights at a startled Valentine. None of the shaking she had before was present and her eyes were cold until it registered who was standing there, arm lowering and taking a ragged breath. He reached out quickly and took the gun from her, momentarily thinking he was going to have to fight for it before she just let go and sat down and started bawling.  
  
Deacon handed Nick her gun before moving over and wrapping her in his arms, wincing when he realized she had been kneeling on the broken glass. He started lifting her pants and Nick had a pained look on his face, forcing him to look down and see why.  
There were bits of broken glass embedded in her shins and knees and likely backside, which was bad enough, but he had to stop from making a face when he realized why Valentine was upset. He watched as her skin tried to heal over the glass in a gross and undoubtedly painful process.  
  
'Sturges....let's get her to Red Rocket so Sturges can get it out.'  
  
'Can you walk, Chunk? I'd carry you but I'm worried you might have some glass in your rear. Do you have any other injuries?'  
  
She shook her head and sniffled a bit, wiping her face on her sleeve before looking at them, the lucidity rapidly coming back to her eyes and steel straightening her spine. He knew she was hurting, he knew she was a mess inside, but there was that strength again. Words could not express how proud and in awe of her he was.  
  
'Yes, yes and no.'  
  
'Huh?'  
  
'Yes, I can walk and yes, I have glass in my ass. No other injuries. Let's go. Nick, can you go tell Preston what happened and to have the guards stay alert. Also, to watch out for anyone that feels out of place. I want to check in with anyone that is a known associate of mine...Preston, Cait, Piper and Nat, Ellie, Ellie and Elijah, Hancock and Fahr...everyone essentially, need to be warned that those I care about have been threatened. Assume the radio has been compromised, send runners we trust, only basic info over the radio. Get Allen, send him to Arthur. We'll need to draft some letters to send. I want Preston to get a team of people we trust and that are familiar to the team on the island to escort Strong there, but I'll need to talk with him first. I'll write a letter for Brian, I don't want this to slow work on the teleporter, they can bring the parts from Sturges with them. Deacon, you'll need to go to HQ or at the very least leave something at a dead drop so they know to watch out. We need eyes and ears though, ask for any word about previously unoccupied areas that now have activity that do not appear to be the standard raider or Gunner assholes. Tonight we'll all stay at Red Rocket and lock it down. Nick on the way back, grab Mac if he's not already with Sturges and Dogmeat.'  
  
Nick hesitated a moment before handing her gun back to her but simply nodded and ran down the hill. He offered Charmer an arm, wincing as she brushed past him and started stomping towards Red Rocket, obviously in pain but not letting that stop her. She'd gone from falling apart to General in a heartbeat but then she was Pop's daughter and Gov was the one that had really trained her in his ways and honestly if she had taken that tone with Gov, he probably would have fallen in line with the rest of them.  
  
'You in there?'  
  
'Huh?'  
  
Deacon blinked and he realized he'd stopped walking and was just staring off into space, lost in memories of Gov and the guys. Flushing and feeling ashamed at how lost he was getting today, noticing that Audra was standing there weapon out watching out for him as he drifted into la la land.  
  
'The way you gave orders...like Gov. Started thinking about him.'  
  
'You remember?'  
  
'Being around you always brings out more memories.'  
  
'But you're getting more spacey than usual? Is this happening a lot?'  
  
'Come on, let's go get you taken care of.'  
  
She gave him a knowing look at the subject change and her lips were pressed in a thin line, but she took his arm and they hobbled down to the Red Rocket. As soon as they got there Sturges had her pull her pants off and set to work pulling all the bits of glass out. Nick returned with Mac and Preston and they spent the next couple hours figuring out what to write in the letters and their next steps.  
  
'Well, General we can get Strong secure on the island but until we get word back from our scouts I think you and Deacon should stay hidden. I have a place in mind, what do you think?'  
  
'I think I should probably go alone.'  
  
The garage exploded as all of them started talking at once trying to tell her what a fucking bad idea that was. Quieting down as she stomped out, coming back a moment later with some new pants, sighing softly as she hopped up on the workbench with a bottle of whisky this time and lit a cigarette. Deacon was about to say something when he caught the look on Sturges' face and bust out laughing, the entire room turning to look at him where he was leant up against the closed shutter.  
  
'You two totally christened that bench, didn't you? That is the only reason I can think of for the look on Sturges' face.'  
  
Charmer blushed so pretty and glared at him but had a little grin. The tips of Sturges' ears turned bright red and he smirked a bit then patted the bench fondly, that made the rest of them start laughing and a little bit of the tension dissolved. Preston told them to stay put and went to grab some food and Mac went and grabbed some beers from the fridge, passing them around. Nick came over and leant against the shutter with him and offered the pack before lighting a cigarette. He took one and lit it for himself, an eyebrow cocking at the frown on her face.  
  
'Seriously though, I have a place in mind and I think I should go alone and I think you need to go somewhere else Deacon, away from me. Anyone around us is at risk and together we apparently make a much too tempting target. Mac, Nick...I'd feel better if one of you went with Deacon or went around and checked on people and made sure everyone was watching out. Then, if we hear an update on the radio, we'll have to figure out a signal...that way if anyone has found any clue about them, we can go looking for the bastards.'  
  
He sighed and looked at her, trying to figure out if she was mad at him. She looked at him and shook her head a little and again and again and again he wondered how she always knew. Suddenly it felt like the day hit him all at once, he could have lost her _again_ , just barely fighting back the tears. Cigarette hanging in his hand loosely, just looking at her, letting out a little sigh. Audra looked at him with a sad smile and pulled Sturges to her, mumbling something in his ear as he felt Nick's hand...his metal hand come to rest on his shoulder, turning his head to look at the synth.  
  
(Heavy - Linkin Park feat. Kiiara)  
  
He didn't understand how Nick's face could be so expressive or when he started learning his looks. Was it when they were looking for her or was that something much more recent? Charmer said something to Bullseye and he and Sturges stepped out and Nick gave his shoulder a little squeeze before stepping over to press a soft kiss on her and going out, closing the door to the garage behind him. He shuffled his feet and put out the cigarette, suddenly not wanting it.  
  
'He worries about you too. We all do...well, Mac wouldn't admit it, but I know he cares. Would you do something for me? Would you please go talk to Amari and make sure things are okay? You've been getting really distracted and I worry that they might catch you unaware. That is why I don't want you to go alone, I know you are more than capable, but if it is something out of your control and you space out at the wrong time...I don't want to lose you again. If Aidan is gone forever, then fine but I kinda have the feels for Deacon too and I don't think I could handle losing you. You're not alone.'  
  
'You don't have to do this alone either! Take one of them too, if it can't be me, then fine but don't go alone, please?'  
  
She held her hand out and he hesitated before taking it, sighing as she pulled him into a hug. Standing between her legs with her arms coming around his waist and ear pressed against his chest. He didn't know how to feel anymore, he worked so hard to distance himself and here they were, worming their way in...well, the others were, Chunk just smashed through like his walls were nothing and it scared the hell out of him to feel so much again. That's why he didn't want to go see Amari, because if he remembered anymore then he wasn't going to be able to stop. Sighing as she just held onto him, anchoring him to the world. Looking up at him and pulling off his glasses, blinking a few times before focusing back on her, remembering how much he loved her eyes. She thought they were boring, but they were a gorgeous shade of brown that looked so dark but lit up warm like Tiger's Eyes when the light hit them, smiling at him softly.  
  
'Fine, someone has to accompany both of us, then if needed they can swap so we can stay updated on what is going on. I'm gonna miss your stupid face.'  
  
'I'll have you know that my face is not stupid, it has inspired many a fine painting and battle for my virtue, a regular Helen of Troy.'  
  
He joked, trying to lighten the mood again when he realized she was sniffling against his chest, stroking her hair softly.  
  
'Charmer?'  
  
'The guy, the one with the bottle in the face...he was the one who said he was going to hurt them. Then he said he was going to cut your head off and give it to me as a present before he raped me to show me what a real man was like. That I should be grateful someone would touch an abomination like me. That's when I broke the bottle and jumped him. I wasn't going to let him near any of you.'  
  
Deacon couldn't stop the pain in his heart and just smooshed her tight against him, rocking a little. She wasn't worried about the guy talking about raping her, no, she was upset because he said he would get them. Kissing the top of her head and mumbling to her.  
  
'Thank you for worrying about us, but what about worrying about yourself there?'  
  
'I don't care what happens to me Aodh, as long as you guys are okay. Sometimes I think you all would be better off without me.'  
  
'Hey, hey, hey...no talking like that. It's going to be okay Chunk, we're gonna get the bad guys and make it a better place, right?'  
  
'I'm scared. How can it be a better place, it's too much.'  
  
-  
  
_'It's too much, I'm scared. What if you don't come back?'_  
_  
'You know I'll always come back for you, I promised remember? And I'm no liar.'_  
  
_He grinned and hopped out of bed, heading to the kitchen to grab some food. He had to pause at the door when he came back, just smiling at his little bookworm. Jesus, he was going to miss her, what harm would it do to have something to remember her by? He snapped the picture and grinned when she looked at him, snapping another quickly._  
  
_'What was that for?'_  
  
_'I want something to take with me, so I can look at you whenever I want.'_  
  
_'You do realize I have no bottoms on, right? Dad or Rog better not see it or they'll kick your ass.'_  
  
_'Shit didn't think about that.'_  
  
_'Mmm, come here, I'll give you something to remember me by.'_  
  
-  
  
(Never Too Late - Three Days Grace)  
  
'Hey, we're doing the best we can, right?'  
  
'We're killers Deacon. Doesn't matter how good our intentions are.'  
  
'Well, maybe someday we won't have to be.'  
  
'I miss Da...Rog...god, I miss Shaun and Nate so bad I think my heart will stop. I even miss that stupid ugly old couch. I just want to have a home again, I want to not feel so scared and angry all the time. I just want it to stop.'  
  
'Oh, Chunk. I miss them too...but this is your home now. Sturges, Nick, Mac? Even that asshole, Maxson...you have your family. It's not the same, it's never going to be the same, but you can start again.'  
  
'Not without you.'  
  
'I'm not the same either. I don't think I ever will be...but I'll go see Amari, okay? Anything for you. You should probably take Mac with you, boy has been missing you bad, you can feel the need coming off of him.'  
  
Audra pulled back and smirked at him, rubbing a hand over his jaw.  
  
'And what about all the unresolved sexual tension between you and Nick? Just...be gentle? He isn't built the way we are, I dunno if he'll ever be comfortable with the openness. He's more a one at a time kinda man.'  
  
'I think...I'd call Nick a friend. Dunno about more for now...dunno about any of that yet...but I mean damn that voice.'  
  
'God, I know, trust me...should hear it when he starts uttering little filthy nothings in your ear.'  
  
'Jesus, Chunk...really?'  
  
She grinned evilly and squirmed against the growing hardness and he glared at her as best as he could but didn't have the will to pull away fully.  
  
'Should I tell you all about how Sturges fucked me here? It was very hot...'  
  
'You're gonna kill me.'  
  
'Mmm, doubt it, we sound fairly death proof at this point.'  
  
_Maybe she is..._  
  
'We're not. We're tough but not immortal...please, still need to be careful.'  
  
'You too.'  
  
They went serious again and just clung to each other tight till Preston was back with the food. He was impressed with what Sturges had done since the last time he was there, he still had a room in the old gas station, but instead of the full size bed that was jammed in there before he'd made a platform bed of half the room, still fairly small, but big enough for three being friendly. Then there was the add-on off the back door. A new shower/bath combo, laundry, and more recently the large living room and kitchen, a second floor with several individual rooms, one that had been decked out for a child.  
When Chunk had seen what Sturges had done with the room she'd started crying and pair of them were gone for a few hours, looking much more rumpled when they came back. Then she spent some time talking with Strong about where was sending him and why, having to spend a couple hours explaining before the super mutant finally agreed, making her promise to come get him to look for the milk of human kindness later. Then she spent some time with Mac and then Nick, going over what they had been thinking.  
  
He was surprised when she asked for him as they were heading to bed, finding her curled up on the platform, an eyebrow raised.  
  
'If I'm not going to see you for god only knows how long, then I want cuddles, please?'  
  
'What about Sturges?'  
  
'He understands...he's so good, Boff...I dunno if I've ever known anyone with such a big heart. Why, why would he want me?'  
  
'Maybe it's because you have such a big heart too.'  
  
'I don't...'  
  
'Yes, yes you do, I mean look at how big your boobs are, your giant heart just pushes them out.'  
  
The snort laugh that he pulled from her was the best sound ever and they eventually fell asleep curled around each other, drifting off holding her with a little smile.  
  
Morning was rough and Audra couldn't stop the tears and the hugs as they got ready. He and Nick left first, getting hugs from Audra and Sturges and handshakes from Preston and Mac. They had been heading east for a bit before he looked over at Valentine with a sigh.  
  
'Sorry for dragging you into this.'  
  
'Do I look like I'm being drug anywhere? Besides, from everything I can tell, it's not like they'd like me much either. I'm pre-war AND a synth, pretty much the embodiment of that which they hate.'  
  
'Where are we going anyways?'  
  
'One of the settlements Audra kept aside for safe houses. We'll stay for a few days then we can go see Amari.'  
  
'Has she been having prophetic dreams or something?'  
  
'Not that I know of, she's just ridiculously smart and attempts to provide for all possible contingencies. Why...is that something we should be expecting?'  
  
'Fuck if I know...she's...more...different. I survived a bullet to head once but it took months of healing. At the rate she's been going, it might take days for her...maybe less? I don't exactly understand the cryo process, but the medigel, it was cycled through her body for hundreds of years. I was suspended in it for not quite 80 years and I've survived this long...'  
  
They walked in silence for a while after that, letting the potential implications sink in. Eventually, they came to the small house that had been set up and he wondered when the hell she'd had time to go there. He'd say that someone else had done it and maybe they did the shell, but there were little touches of her everywhere. From the books to the artwork, the whole place just felt like her.  
Deacon sat down on the couch with a little smirk, this couch was red, not orange but it shared a striking resemblance to the one they'd had at home. Looking over at Valentine as he poked through the bookshelf.  
  
'Anything good?'  
  
'Several, we never finished Animal Farm, shall we?'  
  
'You, reading to me?'  
  
Deacon grinned and flopped down on the couch, watching Nick as he sat in the chair across from him, lighting a cigarette before opening the book.  
  
'A few days later, when the terror caused by the executions had died down, some of the animals remembered — or thought they remembered — that the Sixth Commandment decreed “No animal shall kill any other animal.”'  
  
-  
  
(Sleeping Sickness - City and Colour)  
  
Audra pressed a kiss to Mac's forehead and slipped out of bed with a soft sigh. It'd only been four days since they'd left Sanctuary but she was already beginning to feel caged in. Mac was a darling and did his best to keep her entertained during the day, it was at night when she couldn't sleep and he was dead to the world that she would get up and pace for hours with nothing but her thoughts to slowly drive her insane.  
  
She went downstairs and out to the deck, it was wet and cold and the air was heavy with moisture but she didn't bother putting anything on, the cold didn't seem to bother her as much as it used to. Sighing and lighting a cigarette, she briefly debated grabbing bottle of whisky but it didn't really do much for her anymore unless she drank a crap ton.  
  
It was almost the 6th and she was saving all she had on hand so that hopefully she could just forget that day.  
  
'Hey, it's freezing out here...come back to bed?'  
  
'Hey...okay. Did I wake you? I'm sorry.'  
  
She stubbed out the cigarette out and wandered over to Mac standing in the doorway. Smiling up at him faintly as he grabbed her hips and pulled her close, leaning down so he could kiss her sleepily.  
  
'Are you okay?'  
  
'Not so fun story time...'  
  
He looked worried and she pulled him back to bed, curling together under the covers as she told him what had happened since she'd sent him away, about the 6th, about the Circle, healing, everything that she could think of and he just looked more and more sad, sniffing softly and holding her tight.  
  
'You gave me Duncan back and I'll help you do whatever you need to find Shaun. I'm sorry about all that.'  
  
'So...yeah, I plan on getting trashed next week in hopes that I'll pass out and forget things. Then at some point, we get to go after these assholes and put an end to their craziness.'  
  
'I got your back, boss. I'll watch out for you whenever you need.'  
  
'Thank you, Mac.' She smiled faintly, teasing him, 'You going soft on me MacCready?'  
  
'It's nothing...just got something in my eye.'  
  
He tried joking about it, but the look on his face was serious as he leant over her, kissing softly again and again.  
  
'Missed you.'  
  
'Missed you too.'  
  
Audra cupped his face in her hands and kissed deeper, pulling him over her with a soft sigh.  
  
'You sure?'  
  
'Yes, Robert...please?'  
  
He didn't answer, instead, he just pressed her back into the pillows, grinding down against her with a soft moan. It reminded her of their first time when she asked him but unlike the times before, this wasn't frantic, it was soft and sweet and she didn't think as the words slipped out.  
  
'I love you, Robert.'  
  
Her heart ached when he paused and didn't answer, accepting the kiss as he wrapped her up in his arms. She made him roll over, straddling his hips as he looked up at her, wondering if he didn't feel that same way or why he couldn't say it. Shaking it off and rocking against him slowly. She slid her hands over his torso, learning each little indent and scar, smirking a little when he giggled as she brushed her hands over his side. She couldn't stop the little gasp as his hands slid up under the t-shirt, cupping her breasts as the rough skin on his thumbs brushed over her nipples.  
  
'Jesus, Queenie...I missed you, not just this, but this is fricken awesome...just, I don't know what karma I cashed, but I definitely don't deserve someone as good as you.'  
  
Audra genuinely laughed and it made her heart warm as he grinned up at her, leaning over and kissing again.  
  
'Dork.'  
  
'Mungo.'  
  
'Punk.'  
  
'Runt.'  
  
They stopped giggling and Mac made a noise in his throat when the desire decided to hit them then at full force. Arching his hips and shoving his boxers down before lifting her, not even bothering with sliding her panties off, pulling them to the side and sliding into her.  
  
'FUCK.'  
  
'Lang...language. Oh, Jesus Robert.'  
  
Audra flung her shirt off and rode her lover eagerly, falling against his chest when the first orgasm hit. Mac honest to god straight up whined when she stopped rocking, flipping them over so he could thrust, crying out for her as she wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him deeper. All too soon they were racing to the finish again, rocking and kissing and groaning. Mac was heavy as he collapsed on her, the strength of his orgasm making him weak, gently rolling him off and using her undies to wipe them up before tossing them aside. Whispering promises of something more later, when they weren't tired. It didn't take long for him to drift back to sleep but she was still up, about to lie down and try sleep when the sound had her slipping out bed.  
  
She didn't even think about it, jumping out of the window to the deck below, just narrowly avoiding falling on her still naked ass as her feet hit the wet wood. Grabbing the skewer off the barbecue and wielding it like a rapier as the man stood against the railing, tensing up.  
  
'This is going to go one of two ways. You're going to try something and I'm going to kill you or you're going to leave and tell your boss Cole that I wish to speak with him.'  
  
'I...I heard what you said, in there, what you told that one. I will go speak with Cole but no one will bother you till after the 6th.'  
  
(Roads - Portishead)  
  
Audra blinked at the man in surprise and it must have shown on her face, turning his head to look at her as he started walking away.  
  
'I had a son once, before. Before...all this. Like you. No one will bother you till I return with his reply.'  
  
And with that he disappeared into the fog, leaving her there naked and shivering and confused.


End file.
